• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 794 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Childcare nightmare

kiansmum

Hi everyone,

My son is 10 and started a new school in September. I also started a new job in September at a different school for kids with complex needs and BESD. He was doing fine but in the last 3 weeks there have 2 incidents, one at his before school club and one at the after school. They were both serious incidents where he hurt other children and certainly made smaller children feel intimidated and frightened. Despite only being 10, he is 5ft 4 and weighs 10 stone, a big boy! So even when he is behaving as a normal 10 year old might, he can hurt other people, including adults.

I have been leaving my job 40 minutes early every day since and arriving at least 40 minutes late in order to take him to and from school. I have spoken to various childminders with no luck. The council seem to think the after school club, which is attached to the school, should still provide for him but they've not taken any action.

I guess i'm just looking for advice and support. I am fearful i will lose my job and this is the first time i have ever been able to get this far to actually having a job and i would be gutted to lose it now. I have considered talking to OFSTED as both clubs are registered with them and it seems that there is no-one else govening childcare???

  • Do you know anyone who would informally child mind him and let him be quiet, in a room by himself and just watch tv.

    I returned to work when my son was 10. He came home on his own and was checked on by my neighbour, for the hour until I returned. It worked well. He also sat in her house in the morning until it was time for school, then went by himself. He hated that, but I didn't trust him to lock up by himself. 

    Itis a big step, trusting kids to do things alone, but can be rewarding for them and solve problems. It depends how far away the school is of course. See what he thinks.

  • Hi - what sort of support does your son have during school hours such as lessons, playtime, lunchtime?  If he has a TA or similar then maybe that person cd also be there for the before/after school club?  Or is this where the school are being unhelpful?  I do think you need to keep on being assertive with the school.  Your son has had a lot of changes :  new school, mum starting work, before/after school club.  It wd take a non-autistic child a bit of getting used to!  Also have a word with your local council or councillor to see if they have anything to offer in the way of support.  R.socks's post makes some relevant points which you should consider.  I do hope you can find a way fwd.  You've tried so hard so it would be awful if through no fault of your own you couldn't continue to work.  I do feel sorry for your son; he must be under so much stress day in day out.  The school needs to get its act together pronto or some other kind of before/after school provision needs to be in place for children such as hours.  See what social care provides - back to the local council again or perhaps an autism charity in your area may have info and/or support.  Good luck.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    If he has had two serious incidents then I think you should be asking whether these school clubs are suitable for him. Perhaps he will not really settle well in the unstructured, highly social, very mixed age group and possibly rowdy environment that I imagine might be the situation.

    It may also be the case that these clubs make for a very long day for him that stretch his patience, social stamina and tolerance. Perhaps he really would be better taken to a quieter environment before or after school?

    Are you hoping that these club sessions will teach him to be more social?

    Otherwise, have you looked at getting DLA or some other benefit to fund additional help workers to help him during these club sessions?