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Please help me

Sans

Hi im stuck between a rock and a hard place and i dont know where to turn.  My 11 year old son is autistic, and my 5 year old daughter isnt.  My eleven year old has become very disruptive in the house and quite frankly we are on edge permanantly, on tues he locked himself in the bathroom for 45min threatening to jump out the window (1 floor up) because his baby sister had got a row from her teacher.  My problem is this.....my daughter has learned a lot of her behaviours from her brother so things that she thinks are acceptable obviously arent in a main stream classroom  so im having a terrible time with her at school, they have started her on a "cube" reward system giving her a maximum of 10 if shes good.  Unfortunatly my son has realised this and is daily asking her wat she is getting Sadly last few days its been 1 cube (tuesday) or 5 the other days this week, I feel now my sons "reactions" are due to my daughters behaviours hope this is making sense........its a complteley viscious circle and i honestly am at my wits end.  Ive never "sat down" with my 5 year old to explain my sons illness do u think this would maybe help??? im not sure if she is old enough to understand??? she realises theres something different about him but not sure if this would even help.

My daughters classroom teacher is very unsympathetic to our family situation i have tried to speak to her about it she is more concenrned that my youngest is behaving "naughtily" in class.

Does anyone have any sugggestions for me......????  thers only so many times u can hear the i hate u , ur a bad mum i want a new nicer mummy without it getting to u

I need help with my daughters behaviour......my sons total lack of danger???? Ill take anything cause honestly im stuck 

hope someone out there can help me 

sans

  • CAMHS are pretty good at recognising a crisis and alot depends on the wording of the referal from GP ie if he/she recognises the severity and risks of the situation. 

  • Hi Sans and ColinCat,

     

    Just to let you know im in Ayrshire in scotland and yes they do have CAMHS here, you can usualy be refered by GP. Just to warn you though as with everything else there is a waiting list.

    Sam

    x

  • Hi Sans CAMHS is 'children and adolescent mental health service' but I am not sure whether they operate in Scotland. Good luck with the teacher ColinCat

  • hey sorry i have been reading the posts just taken me a while to getting round to actually replying.  

    Support wise we get nothing, My Son has no one he sees regularly as in a psychologist, clinics, etc the only thing he has is weekly speech and language and 1-1 support in school.  (we live in scotland) forgive my ignorance but what is CAMHS???

    I have been to my GP and i have been signed off for a couple of weeks so i have time to focus and sort this out.

    I have purchased a book "my brother has autism" im just waiting on that arriving to see if that would help me explain to my daughter.

    My Aunt is a head teacher at another school and has been appaulled at the way my daughters teacher has been reacting she is currently drafting me a letter to take to the head teacher, As my daughters class teacher is clearly ignorant to my son despite him being at the school for 7 years.

    Wolf- yeah think im needing to super nanny our lives, its just where to start thats the issue lol......im quite creative but any ideas would be great, 

    And as for ma boy, hes been at my mums all weekend so we have all had a bit of a break heres hoping for a better week nothing is resolved as yet but at least i feel a bit calmer and able to cope....

    Thanks to everyone who replied its nice to know im not alone xxxxxxxxx

  • hi sans.

    i have a three year old and he has many siblings (younger ones are 1 and just turned 5) my five year old understands perfectly well that his brother is different to him.all his siblings (ranging from 18 down to 1) have surprised me how they are with him and his needs etc.i would say talk to your daughter,you will find that she will surprise you,pleasantly.problem may simply be because you haven't sat down with her and explained.as for her school have a word with the school senco.

    good luck and best wishes.lori

  • Hi Sans Thanks so much for posting. You are obviously having a very difficult time at the moment. I have posted below a link to advice to help siblings of children with autism. This provides all sorts of advice which may be able to help. You might also try the helpline who may be able to provide you with further information and help. www.autism.org.uk/.../support-for-younger-brothers-and-sisters.aspx With regard to your daughter's teacher, it may be worth speaking to the head teacher rather than the class teacher. You don't mention if your son is getting any support from CAMHS or something similar. Your son's lack of fear of danger is a very difficult one to handle. There may be some help that he could be given to help him. Please let us know what support he is getting. And finally, I hope that you are getting some support and may be a bit of time to yourself. I know that this is very difficult to do but it is important that you look after yourself because if you are struggling to cope with things then it will be having a detrimental effect on you and you need to keep yourself fit and healthily both physically and mentally to be able to deal with all the stresses and strains of life. All the best Colincat