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Problems at school.

Dipperdoo

Hi guys,

I'm completely new to this (in more ways than one) so excuse me if I ramble!

I am a mum to an amazing six year old boy, who has recently been diagnosed as being on the Autistic Spectrum. He is incredibly clever and is in year 2 of a mainstream school.

There were issues with his behaviour last year (not listening, shouting and running off) This year is proving more problematic. He is becoming much more violent towards his teachers and classmates (hitting, head butting, spitting and kicking).

The school want to help and they involved the help of an Ed Psych and a local special school the specialises is ASC. The two specialists came up with (different) suggestions and school chose strategies that they thought might work. These strategies included loss of privaledges for what we consider 'autistic outbursts' and taking away previously earned golden time. This led to my son becoming even more frustrated in school and his behaviours escalated.

Purely by chance, a different Ed Psych was in school and staff asked for a meeting to discuss my son and his strategies. This EP was disgusted in some of the strategies put in place and gave some AMAZING advice and strategies to reduce his anxieties and outbursts (including ear defenders, twiddlers, positive behaviour rewards,and a safe space to go to when things got too much. This worked AMAZINGLY. There were only one or two outbursts. Last week was a little more rocky, almost like my son was testing the boundaries so there were a few more outbursts.

I am sure the new strategies put in place will work if school just continue to stick to them (we have adopted the same strategies at home and have noticed a marked improvement in his outbursts).

But

School have had some autism training this week and when dropping my son off at school today was told quite sternly "we've had autism training, things with your son are going to be changing. The head will be in touch."

so here's my predicament. I know my son can control his temper and outbursts with consistency and a little empathy. How can we get this from school if they keep changing the goal posts for him every week and never give a strategy long enough to see if it's working?

please help, I feel so frustrated, helpless and let down. What should I do?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi MOASB,

    Perhaps you should not try and take on a battle to fix a school that can't cope with your boy?

    It seems that they don't know how to manage him properly. They may or may not be able to manage him. It depends on the head, the teacher, the TAs, the intake of the school, the physical environment (enough space to let children be separate, sound absorption measures) etc etc. Not forgetting your son who may be managable at home but who may be different in a school setting.

    I'll put another point of view too.

    A mainstream school won't cope with a 6 year old that breaks windows and doesn't understand that this is bad. Regardless of whose fault it was in the first place, he has to know that breaking windows is bad and danfgerous particularly if you consider the other children in the vicinity. Equally, teachers in a mainstream school may not think that it is their job to tame a boy who bites and kicks them. This will be very difficult for them as they have a full time job trying to do their job, i.e. teach, and it will unsettle the other children. They can't let that sort of behaviour continue.

    The question is, how to proceed from here? Perhaps there is another mainstream school that you could try that is just better at dealing with children like him?

    I hope you manage to sort something out but I would hope that you can move forward without turning it into a fight. The only one that needs to be considered is your son. Try and do what is best for him.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi MOASB,

    Perhaps you should not try and take on a battle to fix a school that can't cope with your boy?

    It seems that they don't know how to manage him properly. They may or may not be able to manage him. It depends on the head, the teacher, the TAs, the intake of the school, the physical environment (enough space to let children be separate, sound absorption measures) etc etc. Not forgetting your son who may be managable at home but who may be different in a school setting.

    I'll put another point of view too.

    A mainstream school won't cope with a 6 year old that breaks windows and doesn't understand that this is bad. Regardless of whose fault it was in the first place, he has to know that breaking windows is bad and danfgerous particularly if you consider the other children in the vicinity. Equally, teachers in a mainstream school may not think that it is their job to tame a boy who bites and kicks them. This will be very difficult for them as they have a full time job trying to do their job, i.e. teach, and it will unsettle the other children. They can't let that sort of behaviour continue.

    The question is, how to proceed from here? Perhaps there is another mainstream school that you could try that is just better at dealing with children like him?

    I hope you manage to sort something out but I would hope that you can move forward without turning it into a fight. The only one that needs to be considered is your son. Try and do what is best for him.

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