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Trying to create social life for my sister

jakeone

My sister is 27 and has an autistic spectrum condition.  She is quite independent and has a job as a data-entry assistant.  Her colleagues are supportive and understanding and she enjoys working there.

However, after work she comes home and goes straight to her room and watch videos on YouTube.  The videos are of her favourite band and she has watched these videos, literally, several hundreds of times - if not thousands.  This has been pretty much her life for the last three years or so, since I left home.

She recently made some inappropriate comments to coworkers, misinterpreting their friendliness as romantic affection.  When I discussed this with her she assured me that there was no sexual motive only that she was "very lonely, feels left out" and she said, "I have no friends".  This is heartbreaking to me. 

I began looking into local support groups to see if there were other adults with similar conditions to my sister who also simply wanted to have friends - someone to share a coffee with or go watch a film with.  I found nothing.

Does the NAS know of any such support?  Do other parents/carers see a need for such a service?  Would parents/carers support me if I tried to create a "friends network" for people with autistic spectrum disorders?

I think my sister's life would be transformed if she could just find two or three good friends.  I know she can't be the only autistic person who needs this in their life.

I'm eight years older than my sister and I often wonder what will happen to her when I'm gone.  I wouldn't worry if I knew she had a few good friends around her.

Does anyone else have any thoughts/opinions on helping adults on the autistic spectrum find friends and develop a social life?

Parents

  • Hi Jakeone

     

    I have a daughter of 28 in the same position.  But just like a sister/daughter who isn't on the spectrum you can't make their friends for them.  The misunderstanding issues is a biggy.  Until Autism/Aspergers become more high profile we are constantly battling with people's ignorance (often unintentional).  Hence the Autism bill highlighting the need for more training of front-line staff.  I would also add employers and HR departments to the list.  Also, even if there is a social group suitable nearby, again there is no guarantee that your sister will click with someone.  You could try the Direct Payments route for your sister and then you can advertise for someone to accompany her to the cinema/coffeee shop etc.  No-one needs to know that the person is not her friend. That way you sister gets to choose the person who she will be spending time with.  My daughter mis-interprets conversations, especially when she was at college and it caused no end of problems.  She now has a NAS befriender by email.  This suits her as she can be herself online and doesn't have the pressure of saying or doing the wrong thing when face to face. My only worry is that the NAS, in these difficult times, is reviewing the service and may cut back.  

Reply

  • Hi Jakeone

     

    I have a daughter of 28 in the same position.  But just like a sister/daughter who isn't on the spectrum you can't make their friends for them.  The misunderstanding issues is a biggy.  Until Autism/Aspergers become more high profile we are constantly battling with people's ignorance (often unintentional).  Hence the Autism bill highlighting the need for more training of front-line staff.  I would also add employers and HR departments to the list.  Also, even if there is a social group suitable nearby, again there is no guarantee that your sister will click with someone.  You could try the Direct Payments route for your sister and then you can advertise for someone to accompany her to the cinema/coffeee shop etc.  No-one needs to know that the person is not her friend. That way you sister gets to choose the person who she will be spending time with.  My daughter mis-interprets conversations, especially when she was at college and it caused no end of problems.  She now has a NAS befriender by email.  This suits her as she can be herself online and doesn't have the pressure of saying or doing the wrong thing when face to face. My only worry is that the NAS, in these difficult times, is reviewing the service and may cut back.  

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