New to group: school avoidance in year 13

Hi Alleycham,

I'm really sorry I am not going to have much advice for you, I'm in a similar situation and thought I'd reach out to let you know you're not alone and share things that I do however they don't always work and I struggle a lot to get my daughter out of bed, it's driving me crazy.

My difficulty starts with getting her to wake up and then once awake getting her physically out of bed. Things I do to try to encourage my 14 year old out of bed, or just to wake her up as she could sleep all day, I take up a drink and snack I wake her to let her know it's there, and that I'm off to work. It can be to much for her to have to get up and go downstairs to get a drink or food, so this helps, especially as if I didn't do this she wouldn't eat or drink until very late in the day.

I put her phone on charge on her desk, she sets alarms herself but these rarely work, however if it does wake her she has to get up to get it, yes she usually goes back to bed but sometimes it works as then she'll see her food and drink and this helps wake her. I'm thinking of trying a vibrating wristband.

We have a comfy chair in her room I try to get her to have her drink or snacks in the chair just so she's out of bed, I also let her take cushions and blankets downstairs on the sofa, it's not ideal I know she's still lying down but I see it as her being in a more sociable space and more awake. She is currently in burnout so I try not to expect too much from her.

I open her curtains slightly, she's very light sensitive so too much light would actually make her huddle down in bed more so, if I really want her to get out of bed I turn off her fan and leave the door open, which will get her out of bed but usually followed with a slammed door and she gets back into bed.

On the weekends I drive myself mad going into her room back and forth trying to get her up, bribery can work with a promise to go somewhere or getting food or drink from somewhere, or do something but if they don't have the energy for that, then that doesn't work.

My last resort is borrowing my sons dog to jump on her, he's the only one that can get away with it, but obviously this isn't always a possibility.

I feel like I've waffled on and not really helped, as the things I try don't always work!

Just a thought, have you been offered any support regarding his mental health? It might be helpful for him to speak to someone about his diagnosis, if he is open to it.

Sending hugs

Robyn

Hi Alleycham,

I'm really sorry I am not going to have much advice for you, I'm in a similar situation and thought I'd reach out to let you know you're not alone and share things that I do however they don't always work and I struggle a lot to get my daughter out of bed, it's driving me crazy.

My difficulty starts with getting her to wake up and then once awake getting her physically out of bed. Things I do to try to encourage my 14 year old out of bed, or just to wake her up as she could sleep all day, I take up a drink and snack I wake her to let her know it's there, and that I'm off to work. It can be to much for her to have to get up and go downstairs to get a drink or food, so this helps, especially as if I didn't do this she wouldn't eat or drink until very late in the day.

I put her phone on charge on her desk, she sets alarms herself but these rarely work, however if it does wake her she has to get up to get it, yes she usually goes back to bed but sometimes it works as then she'll see her food and drink and this helps wake her. I'm thinking of trying a vibrating wristband.

We have a comfy chair in her room I try to get her to have her drink or snacks in the chair just so she's out of bed, I also let her take cushions and blankets downstairs on the sofa, it's not ideal I know she's still lying down but I see it as her being in a more sociable space and more awake. She is currently in burnout so I try not to expect too much from her.

I open her curtains slightly, she's very light sensitive so too much light would actually make her huddle down in bed more so, if I really want her to get out of bed I turn off her fan and leave the door open, which will get her out of bed but usually followed with a slammed door and she gets back into bed.

On the weekends I drive myself mad going into her room back and forth trying to get her up, bribery can work with a promise to go somewhere or getting food or drink from somewhere, or do something but if they don't have the energy for that, then that doesn't work.

My last resort is borrowing my sons dog to jump on her, he's the only one that can get away with it, but obviously this isn't always a possibility.

I feel like I've waffled on and not really helped, as the things I try don't always work!

Just a thought, have you been offered any support regarding his mental health? It might be helpful for him to speak to someone about his diagnosis, if he is open to it.

Sending hugs

Robyn