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Autistic opinions on school refusal

NAS63645

Hi everyone,

My son is 11, autistic and has a long history of school refusal. How should I deal with it? 

He attends a very understanding and accommodating special school. I, myself try my best to be understanding and accommodating. 

I would love to know the autistic view of school refusal. The view of parents is welcome too. 


Is the school system at fault for expecting attendance 9am - 3pm Monday - Friday?

Should I be firm with my son about attending on days when he is hiding under his bedcovers refusing to get dressed? (It’s not every day)

Should I sanction him for not attending by taking something away?

Should I be kind and understanding and let him get away with whatever he wants? 

I am conscious that as a non-autistic person, I can’t feel what he feels, which is why I am looking for some autistic-friendly input, so that I don’t do the wrong thing and mess up his development.

Many thanks!

Parents

  • Many years have passed since I was at school, but the memory of my time is horribly vivid. I was a refuser because the school environment completely overwhelmed me - so many girls, noise, lights, cliques of pupils, etc., and I couldn’t face going in. 

    I now know that the environment wasn’t suitable for me to be an effective learner.

    i can’t help you with the parenting side of things but I think it’s important that you find out why your son is refusing as it could be for any number of reasons and it might be something that can be addressed or changed.

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  • Many years have passed since I was at school, but the memory of my time is horribly vivid. I was a refuser because the school environment completely overwhelmed me - so many girls, noise, lights, cliques of pupils, etc., and I couldn’t face going in. 

    I now know that the environment wasn’t suitable for me to be an effective learner.

    i can’t help you with the parenting side of things but I think it’s important that you find out why your son is refusing as it could be for any number of reasons and it might be something that can be addressed or changed.

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