Bullying resourses

Hi and thanks for the comprehensiveness of your reply. I just wish that all schools had such a stringent policy but variability seems to be the theme. It is just so difficult to support children on the spectrum with relationship building. Often what may not be thought of as bullying may cause our child to have a meltdown.

off to speak to the head teacher,

thanks

Dai said:

Thanks for that, will look into.

are there any books, urls that you have found useful?

cheers

If martial arts training is a route you want to explore, see:

http://choikwangdo.com/lp/index.html

For the Autistic student, I cant recommend Choi Kwon Do enough. It is taught in a non-aggressive, non-competitive fashion; concentrating on restraint and personal development...and the skills learned are effective (it uses Thai Kwon Do's strike set) and will put your child beyond the reach of intimidation or physical assault by the untrained as well as armouring them against general social unpleasantness...it comes to sound like the yapping of small dogs...

In my experience it does not even prove necessary to deploy any violent technique...the training works changes in both the victim and the perpertrator (who becomes uncertain when met w confidence) that renders further bullying impossible. 

I've found very few resources. More strategies really. If a child is being bullied in a School environment it's helpful to have a School policy which is tough and follows through on sanctions to the offending child, as well as parents that have a tough line on their child behaviour.

My sons primary were crap at sanctions for offenders and more often than not moved the victim or inconvenienced them more than the child that was causing problems. invariably the parents were not proactive either.

My sons secondary however, had a zero tollerence policy. Bullying was frowned upon and students were encouraged to support or report others they saw being bullied. Parents and pupils were also asked to sign a behaviour policy agreement and commit to the rules of the School as well as the support they were to give in ensuring their child conducted themselves appropriately. The School/Home Agreement ensured a united front and a commitment to disapline and conduct maintainance.

Bully's were confronted by the victim in a safe environment to ensure the bully understood the extent of their behaviour and how it affected the victim. This was followed by a verbal and written apology from the bully.

A repeat offender was excluded from School, but set home/School work during the week and made to attend School during weekends/holidays to ensure they didn't miss out on education or 'get away with it' as exclusion is often viewed by students. This also allowed the victim to attend School with the feeling of safety during the week.

The School also had a three strikes and you were out policy.

If you offended repeatedly you were no longer welcome at the School. Given that Parents fought very hard for a place at the School, this was a big issue for a student and a parent. Their were plenty of other students queing behind you for a place.

It's helpful also to try and understand the reason for the bullying. A bully may not be getting the support they need in other areas. They may be crying out for attention, but unsure how best to get it. This in no way sanctions bullying behaviour, however, a child who is not taught to manage his/her behaviour towards others or who continues to bully without guidance, sanction and understanding of the consequence of their actions, will grow up to become an adult who bullies.

A structured module within each academic year, normally under PSHE; teaching students about bullying, conduct, morals and personal resonsibility, will consolidate and reinforce any policies that run as a general rule in a School. (PHSE = Physical, Social and Health education.) This not only teaches students that Bullying is unacceptable, but also gives victims strategies and tools to recognize unacceptable behaviour (In all it's subtle guises.) and to feel empowered to act or to find a vioice to report bullying.

Hope that's helpful. It's very difficult to give advice without the context you wish it to help.

Regards

Coogybear

Cool, thanks

Welcome!

Bullying has been discussed on the forum lots as it is a common issue

community.autism.org.uk/.../bully

There is also lots of stuff with links etc on the rest of the website

www.autism.org.uk/.../search results.aspx

Thanks for that, will look into.

are there any books, urls that you have found useful?

cheers

I found martial arts training was helpful with moving past bullying...