Trying to figure out two sets of behaviour we see from our 5 year old boy, who has a diagnosis of autism with a PDA profile.
1. Summer, playing in the garden, frisbees or tennis balls sometimes accidentally go over the fence. No problem, we go round to get it. As soon as he gets back, he's making sure it goes over the fence again, then going round again, and again and again until we step in to avoid exhausting the neighbour's goodwill. Can anyone figure out why?
My only theory is he likes the independence of solving his own problem - he opens the front door on his own (stool), takes the stool round, stands on it to press their doorbell, very politely asks, they agree, he usually brings the stool back. On the most recent iteration, he told me I didn't need to accompany him. Obviously we feel that 5yo is a bit young to be off unsupervised...
Any other ideas or does that seem plausible? Any ideas to manage the risk, or redirect his desires?
2. Pre-meditated violence. Sometimes we, or his sister, will trigger him in some way (like saying no, or getting in his personal space), and get an immediate violent reaction, hitting or biting, in less than half a second. Our understanding is that this is primarily a fight-or-flight response associated with PDA. Fine.
However, he is also capable of somewhat pre-meditated violence, where he informs you it's coming, he'll go off and find the right object to throw at you or hit you with, navigate the room and carefully deliver what he said. If you ignore, push back or double down it will continue as planned. But sometimes if you constructively engage him early enough, that gets scaled down to barely a light pat on the leg - which tells me he's still using his thinking brain - it can't be fight or flight.
So my only theory here is the autism highly developed sense of justice, and he feels he's delivering warranted retribution. But he has to deliver something, hence the lightest of pats.
Any other ideas or does that seem plausible? Any ideas to manage the risk, or redirect his desires?
