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Adult son with ? autism

witsend

I don't know where to turn.  My son is 31 years old and lives at home with his father and I.  He has never been officially diagnosed with autism but this is the nearest profile to fit him.  He was statemented through school and attended a school for children with special needs.  He has a part time job which he does well but has no friends of any age.  His abilities are very skewed. He can read as well as anyone but his maths skills are limited to very simple adding and subtracting so that he can cope with buying something and check his change.  His hand writing is like that of a 7 year old.  The biggest problem is his lack of social skills which as he has become older, has become more of an issue.  If I told you the nature of what has pushed me over the edge you would probably laugh and not see the problem.  But he us unable to rationalise anything which impacts on him and is becoming increasingly aggressive which at 6'3" could be a real problem.  Can anybody tell me where I can go to get some help and advice in my area (East Yorkshire)?  I feel at the end of my tether.  We moved to our current address 14 years ago and at that point my two sons and husband changed GP to a more local surgery - I remained behind at our old one  Therefore, It will be difficult to seek help from his gp, who is not my gp and has no knowledge of all the issues which have led us to this point with our son.  Any help will be most welcome I feel absolutely desperate

  • I know exactly how you feel!  I have still drawn a blank with regard to any help for my son; what I was actually looking for was help for ME and  I suspect you would like the same too!  Things with my son have calmed down again - as they usually do, until the next time.  I had not found this forum helpful and indeed, had not looked on it again until your post came in.  I'm sorry that I can offer no other helpful advice than to say  I understand what you're going through. Everything seems geared to helping children up to the age of 18 and after that it would appear that you're on your own.   As for the person who suggested I ask my son what he wants; well, he wants to be a touring car race driver and any suggestion that this would be a path unavailable to him meets with complete disbelief - he can't see what the difficulties are, is unaware that he has any kind of problem or is different in any way to anyone else!  I sincerely hope you can find someone or somewhere that can aid you in any real way and if you do, please let me know what it is!  In the meantime, don't beat yourself up; you've been doing a nearly impossible job successfully for 31 years and that's got to count for something. Good luck.

  • when I read this I was looking for advice for the very same thing .my son is 31 ,he lives with me as his father and I are divorced . He was diagnosed in jan /15 as Asd .I live in north yorks and we are finding it very difficult to find support .He has no friends at all ,he doesn't work and totally relies on me . His can become aggressive & loud , his social skills are very limited ,he reads well but maths have always been a problem. I feel like my life has been taken over by his condition and im not in control .Im constantly having to watch him or check on what he's doing .he vents his anger online sometimes and that has got him into trouble . I wish there was light at the end of the tunnel .

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I think you probably need to start with his GP. It is his health that is the root of the issue. If you could persuade him that he can be helped - presumably he is not happy with the situation either? - then this is probably the route into getting the assistance of adult mental health services who would be able to put him in touch with the right agencies. I've heard that there is an autism support centre in Sheffield but I guess that is S Yorks?

    There is a helpline on this website - they may be able to help too.

  • Hi, welcome.  If you look on the home pg there are lots of links so you can find out what's available in your area, such as social services, autism organisations, etc.  Are you wanting a diagnosis for your son?  But, mainly, what does your son want?  Having his co-operation in respect of his future life is so very important if you are going to achieve a positive outcome for all concerned.