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A neighbours point of view.

Freshreset

Hi everyone!

This is my first post,.pls be fair and kind.

I am a neighbour to a single parent with an autistic teenager of 13. They moved in when he was around 5/6 years old. He is non verbal, and struggles to walk.

I appreciate and completely understand that my neighbour has had difficulties for many years now, as he screams at the top of his lungs, bangs on surfaces and adjoining walls constantly when he is home. I did politely mention to her when he was younger than he is very loud, but she didn't say anything or respond. I have only noticed that she rarely requests him to be quiet only when he is outside.

Her child is very loud, and it's obviously incredibly hard to ignore that's why I noticed that he has been left alone for hours at a time, for about 6 years now. She does go to work, leaves him home alone and he screams/shrieks and bangs on walls throughout the whole time until she gets back, alot of times after midnight and later in school holidays. 

I have no idea if a non verbal child should be left alone for that long. I have always been concerned if at any point something happened, how he would be able to alert anyone or even call for help.

I am also a single parent and my job in those years was a mix between 6am and 10pm, and was so difficult for my sleep and have peaceful days off, bt now my son has a full time job too and the early morning, late nights screaming and banging is affecting our work/home balance. 

My neighbours child is now a teenager, so his voice is much deeper and more audible, definitely can't ignore it and he is left alone at home till very late at night and the shrieking/screaming and now moaning noises and repetitive banging continues, it honestly sounds SOOO distressing like he's screaming for help.

I feel we have been understanding for many years but now it's getting difficult as we have to work. The moaning and groaning sounds he makes now is beginning to be uncomfortable, especially when we have visitors. 

What can I do so we can sleep and work better? I don't want to offend her in any way, but does she not realise that her neighbours lives are being affected? If she can request him to be quite outside can she not request him to stop moaning/screaming/banging after certain time? Any advice would be appreciated.

  • Hi Freshreset,

    Thank you for sharing this.  We just wanted to offer you some general advice and signposting for this situation.

    • In the UK, the law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents and carers are advised to use their judgement on how mature their child is before you decide to leave them alone.
    • The NSPCC says children aged 12 or older should only be left alone for long periods of time when both the child feels safe and the parent feels they’re ready. The NSPCC has more guidance here: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/home-alone/
    • If you are concerned about the safety or welfare of your neighbour’s child right now (for example, they are currently alone) you can contact the Police to report this concern and request a welfare check.
    • For non-emergency concerns and/or to report the ongoing issue of a child being left alone, you can contact your local authority children’s safeguarding team. You can find their contact details by typing into a search engine: “[your Local Authority/Trust name] [ adult/child] safeguarding team” 
    • If you are worried that a child may be at risk of harm, the NSPCC can offer support and advice. 

    We hope this information is useful to you.

    Take Care

    Suzanne Mod