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What, when and how to tell your child that s/he's autistic

ByteBandit

Hello,

We're in a bit of a quandry. We have two daughthers, 2yo and 7yo, both have a diagnosis of HFA. The 2yo is very physical and sees other kids as obstacles to be pushed, shoved, bitten, whatever it takes to get or do what she wants. Following various incidents in play areas we're contemplating getting one of these "I have autism" t-shirts, either from the NAS or elsewhere, along with a box of hand out cards. But, just a bit concerned the 7yo will ask "What is autism?". This falls firmly into the box of other "how do I answer" questions such as "Who is God?". As yet, the 7yo has never asked anything or indicated she has any awareness that she is different or treated differently to any of the other kids, but this is only a matter of time, maybe a long time, but it will come.

This set me wondering. Do we pre-empt her asking and just tell her straight, especially as her younger sister is a bit of a sore thumb so to speak, do we drip feed information as and when she needs it? How do you tell somebody with a communication disorder that they have a communication disorder?

Any insight from parents in a similar situation particularily welcome!

 

Regards,

Mark Leavesley

Parents

  • Hi,

    My daughter is 11 years old, and just diagnosed with Aspergers and we had been advised not to tell her or anyone else about her diagnosis as she was getting on so well at school. Its been a nightmare her not knowing and we have been unable to get any help at all as all her 'difficulties' manifest themselves at home. Shes really angry and aggressive, often violent towards us at home but somehow manages to keep it all together at school.

    This week the school found out about her diagnosis as the 'DLA' people wrote to them to support our claim and they werent happy they hadn't been told. Now that they know we're going to tell our daughter as well but have no idea how to go about it. Shes likely to become aggressive towards us as a result but its for the best. I think the advice we got at the beginning was wrong and I regret not telling her at the time. We desparately need some help with her behavioural issues and it will be such a relief to tell someone so we can get some help before we all lose the plot completely. Keeping it a secret was a very bad idea for us.

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  • Hi,

    My daughter is 11 years old, and just diagnosed with Aspergers and we had been advised not to tell her or anyone else about her diagnosis as she was getting on so well at school. Its been a nightmare her not knowing and we have been unable to get any help at all as all her 'difficulties' manifest themselves at home. Shes really angry and aggressive, often violent towards us at home but somehow manages to keep it all together at school.

    This week the school found out about her diagnosis as the 'DLA' people wrote to them to support our claim and they werent happy they hadn't been told. Now that they know we're going to tell our daughter as well but have no idea how to go about it. Shes likely to become aggressive towards us as a result but its for the best. I think the advice we got at the beginning was wrong and I regret not telling her at the time. We desparately need some help with her behavioural issues and it will be such a relief to tell someone so we can get some help before we all lose the plot completely. Keeping it a secret was a very bad idea for us.

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