What, when and how to tell your child that s/he's autistic

Hello,

We're in a bit of a quandry. We have two daughthers, 2yo and 7yo, both have a diagnosis of HFA. The 2yo is very physical and sees other kids as obstacles to be pushed, shoved, bitten, whatever it takes to get or do what she wants. Following various incidents in play areas we're contemplating getting one of these "I have autism" t-shirts, either from the NAS or elsewhere, along with a box of hand out cards. But, just a bit concerned the 7yo will ask "What is autism?". This falls firmly into the box of other "how do I answer" questions such as "Who is God?". As yet, the 7yo has never asked anything or indicated she has any awareness that she is different or treated differently to any of the other kids, but this is only a matter of time, maybe a long time, but it will come.

This set me wondering. Do we pre-empt her asking and just tell her straight, especially as her younger sister is a bit of a sore thumb so to speak, do we drip feed information as and when she needs it? How do you tell somebody with a communication disorder that they have a communication disorder?

Any insight from parents in a similar situation particularily welcome!

 

Regards,

Mark Leavesley

Parents
  • Tell them when they ask, dont label them with shirts, you are merely bullying them even worse than the bullies can, and causing further bullying by such acts.

    When something comes up that they can do better because of the autism, tell them they can and how, if they can't do somethign because of it, just tell them they cant.

    Soon enough if you get them meetings with therapists when issues get a bit worse or easier to control, they are trained to tel lthem, rather than label them which would lead to:

    • hatred towards you seeing you as a bully
    • being bullied even more
    • possibly having teachers report you for abuse, as I would had I been their teacher!
Reply
  • Tell them when they ask, dont label them with shirts, you are merely bullying them even worse than the bullies can, and causing further bullying by such acts.

    When something comes up that they can do better because of the autism, tell them they can and how, if they can't do somethign because of it, just tell them they cant.

    Soon enough if you get them meetings with therapists when issues get a bit worse or easier to control, they are trained to tel lthem, rather than label them which would lead to:

    • hatred towards you seeing you as a bully
    • being bullied even more
    • possibly having teachers report you for abuse, as I would had I been their teacher!
Children
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