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What, when and how to tell your child that s/he's autistic

ByteBandit

Hello,

We're in a bit of a quandry. We have two daughthers, 2yo and 7yo, both have a diagnosis of HFA. The 2yo is very physical and sees other kids as obstacles to be pushed, shoved, bitten, whatever it takes to get or do what she wants. Following various incidents in play areas we're contemplating getting one of these "I have autism" t-shirts, either from the NAS or elsewhere, along with a box of hand out cards. But, just a bit concerned the 7yo will ask "What is autism?". This falls firmly into the box of other "how do I answer" questions such as "Who is God?". As yet, the 7yo has never asked anything or indicated she has any awareness that she is different or treated differently to any of the other kids, but this is only a matter of time, maybe a long time, but it will come.

This set me wondering. Do we pre-empt her asking and just tell her straight, especially as her younger sister is a bit of a sore thumb so to speak, do we drip feed information as and when she needs it? How do you tell somebody with a communication disorder that they have a communication disorder?

Any insight from parents in a similar situation particularily welcome!

 

Regards,

Mark Leavesley

Parents

  • I have found the I'm not naughty I have autism t-shirts very helpful in situations where my son is likely to be stressed (which will obviously affect his behaviour) and where also there will be people who don't know him/us. So my mother-in-law's ordination saw everyone dressed smartly and my son in one of those t-shirts and people treated him differently - gave him leeway - where probably they otherwise would not and that then resulted in him being less stressed and he behaved way better than anyone expected. So maybe those t-shirts would be a good idea in play areas if you think it might have a similar positive impact.

    However, nearly all toddlers go through a biting, shoving phase so maybe it isn't necessary?

    We find social stories help with our son, maybe you could use one of those to explain autism to your eldest?

Reply

  • I have found the I'm not naughty I have autism t-shirts very helpful in situations where my son is likely to be stressed (which will obviously affect his behaviour) and where also there will be people who don't know him/us. So my mother-in-law's ordination saw everyone dressed smartly and my son in one of those t-shirts and people treated him differently - gave him leeway - where probably they otherwise would not and that then resulted in him being less stressed and he behaved way better than anyone expected. So maybe those t-shirts would be a good idea in play areas if you think it might have a similar positive impact.

    However, nearly all toddlers go through a biting, shoving phase so maybe it isn't necessary?

    We find social stories help with our son, maybe you could use one of those to explain autism to your eldest?

Children
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