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Suddenly getting physically stuck

RuthAT

My 12 year old son has started getting "stuck" in various places. It started in the corridor to his classroom at school. Then it was the road we needed to cross to get on the school bus. Now he won't walk more than a few steps from the front door. It is almost half term so I have no idea whether he is just very tired and overwhelmed at the moment or he is pushing the boundaries with me deliberately. Because of this, I don't know how to deal with it. Should I let to go until after term and hope that with some downtime he will reset or should I start bringing in some behaviour consequences. 

Unfortunately, he is not verbally able to explain why he feels this way. Has anyone experienced similar and can better explain how he feels for me? Or have any parents and carers had a similar thing going on and how did it resolve itself?

Parents

  • Hey RuthAT, it is hard to see your kids struggling so much. He won't be doing it on purpose at all, a huge amount of anxiety and overwhelm can leave you stuck in place while your mind is going round in circles. It can be very hard and the only way to ease it is getting them feeling comfortable again and feeling safe. My son(11) can get overwhelmed and even being asked to make a simple decision or ask a question when he's like this is too much.  

    There could be so many different things going on, it's hard to know unless you can find out more -sometimes kids struggle to say it, but if you make a little tick box questionairre, or whatever means of communication he prefers (we do post-it not conversations where we write stuff and pass it back and forth), he might be able to indicate to you if it's the noise or sensory, if it's school anxiety, or a person at school/class he's finding hard. Then you have a chance of figuring out what to do. 

    It is very hard to see them lock up so badly, working with him on ways he can feel good about himself and be able to do things again would be a positive step, even if it starts as very small things like getting to the gate and back, then work on making those bigger perhaps? When they have the skills/stratagies to deal with they things they find hard I think it can get easier for them. 


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  • Hey RuthAT, it is hard to see your kids struggling so much. He won't be doing it on purpose at all, a huge amount of anxiety and overwhelm can leave you stuck in place while your mind is going round in circles. It can be very hard and the only way to ease it is getting them feeling comfortable again and feeling safe. My son(11) can get overwhelmed and even being asked to make a simple decision or ask a question when he's like this is too much.  

    There could be so many different things going on, it's hard to know unless you can find out more -sometimes kids struggle to say it, but if you make a little tick box questionairre, or whatever means of communication he prefers (we do post-it not conversations where we write stuff and pass it back and forth), he might be able to indicate to you if it's the noise or sensory, if it's school anxiety, or a person at school/class he's finding hard. Then you have a chance of figuring out what to do. 

    It is very hard to see them lock up so badly, working with him on ways he can feel good about himself and be able to do things again would be a positive step, even if it starts as very small things like getting to the gate and back, then work on making those bigger perhaps? When they have the skills/stratagies to deal with they things they find hard I think it can get easier for them. 


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