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Support for parents of autistic young adults

MegSie

I’m looking for support with navigating being the parent of an autistic young adult.

My daughter, 20, is undiagnosed but strongly identifies with the markers for ASD and I agree. At the moment she does not want to seek a diagnosis, this may change but for now I wondered what support I may be able to access for myself to know how best to support her.

 She is working but at the moment she is very unhappy with having to work (though she does manage it) and we are trying to navigate finding the right setup for her. It would be really helpful to connect with other parents that have been through similar.

  • Have you connected with Autism Central last all? They run lots of webinars for parents of autistic people and can also arrange one to one peer support (which is free).

    https://www.autismcentral.nhs.uk/events

    I'm autistic and have a 16-year-old daughter who is autistic and ADHD and a 20-year-old daughter who is ADHD and suspects autism.

  • in reply to JulieM

    I also have 2 daughters - 22 and 19 - the youngest of whom is diagnosed autistic and the older shows very clear signs of autism or ADHD. Both are highly intelligent. The oldest is managing life generally - finished uni and working a holiday job. But my youngest dropped out of college over two and a half years ago and has not been able to get back into study or start any kind of work. I am so out of my depth!! She sees a fantastic counsellor which, after 4 years not speaking to CAMHS, is a great help to her but I feel like we are stuck and any added stress rocks the boat massively. My relationship with my partner is on the rocks and he has not coped well or supported our daughter well so that relationship is in tatters. Feels like I'm drowning at the moment and just wish I had someone to tell me what to do.

  • in reply to JulieM

    I really relate to this. I found it surprisingly difficult to find spaces where I could talk honestly about my own experience as a mother without people making assumptions or looking for someone to blame.

    The judgement can be incredibly draining. Looking back with new understanding is hard enough without feeling you have to defend yourself as well.

    You're certainly not the only one who feels this way, and I'm glad you wrote it.

  • Hi

    I have just joined this site today. I am the parent of two autistic daughters in their early twenties . My youngest was diagnosed less than a year ago and my eldest daughter is in the process of becoming assessed. I have joined local mental health carers grouo . I have not yet joined a group for autistic people and carers but I may do in future.

    Both my daughters have been in employment but are not currently due to mental health reasons but would desperately like to work . 

    I am trying everything in my power to support them to achieve what is right for them . I am struggling massively with feeling judged by everyone around me and although I know it is due to lack of knowledge, it does not make it less painful . Most people assume my daughters that I have done so much for them that they simply can’t function. Arrrggggg

    I would like to connect with people where I am able to express my life without assumptions that my daughter’s autism is due to over parenting. I respond politely, however I find interaction with judgmental people very draining.  

    Have you thought about accessing “Access to Work” to help with work place adjustments for your daughter? Just a thought .

    J

  • Dear MegSie 

    Thank you for your post. I am sure other members will be able to give you more personal advice but in the mean time may I signpost you to our advice and guidance section. Here is the main page:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance

    I wonder whether the diagnosis section may be useful to read first:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis

    Please feel free to click and explore the other topics too. 

    With best wishes, 

    Anna Mod