How do I get my 19 year old ready for the relay world?

My 19 year-old son has high functioning ASD and ADHD. He is extremely smart, but his anxiety holds him back from a lot of things. I’m trying to help improve his life skills, but it seems to be a struggle. He doesn’t want to drive because he’s afraid. He has begrudgingly put in applications for jobs but is afraid he’ll have an anxiety attack at work or he won’t be able to handle the job. He definitely has self-confidence issues. I know that he wants to do things, but the anxiety makes it extremely difficult for him. He’s in college, which I am so proud of him for doing. He’s doing well, but still struggles with keeping focused and the social interaction required for the in  person classes. He’s a great kid, no behavioral issues to speak of, extremely polite and apologetic as he’s always afraid of making a mistake and what people will think of him. My biggest fear right now is that something will happen to me and he will not be able to take care of himself. He does have an older brother and sister, but I don’t feel it is their responsibility to care for him when they themselves are still trying to reach their goals in life. He is in therapy, which has seemed to help quite a bit. I would like to get him in some additional activities that may help him, but he refuses to take part in activities that include other kids with ASD. Ironically he can’t handle how many of them behave. 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help him become more self sufficient?

Parents
  • he refuses to take part in activities that include other kids with ASD. Ironically he can’t handle how many of them behave. 

    Well he isn't a kid but an adult at 19 and if he finds their behaviour disturbing it's best avoided.

    I don't think it's 'ironic' but rather understandable.

    If he wants to then perhaps encourage him to join a club where others share his interests. 

Reply
  • he refuses to take part in activities that include other kids with ASD. Ironically he can’t handle how many of them behave. 

    Well he isn't a kid but an adult at 19 and if he finds their behaviour disturbing it's best avoided.

    I don't think it's 'ironic' but rather understandable.

    If he wants to then perhaps encourage him to join a club where others share his interests. 

Children
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