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Autistic 12yr old girl disrupting family life

EmsG

My 12yr old daughter has ASD / ADHD and sensory issues. Her ADHD doesn't pose many problems, however Autism seams to be getting worse and is really making family life miserable.

She has no interest in doing anything except being at home on technology. refuses to go out on family days and even if we do go out she makes the day so difficult, is argumentative with us all and dampens everyones mood. unless its something she wants to do, you can't reason with her.

She has a significant medical condition too which makes it difficult for her to socialise with friends (the very few she has) independently. They're all going out and shes not invited to a lot which really upsets her.

We have an elder 15yr old daughter who is also feeling the strain and longs for a sister she can 'do things with'

I could go on and on...but any help / advice would be appreciated as we have no other family support and i'm at my wits end with it all Pensive

Parents

  • Sounds like puberty is compounding the autism your daughter has, I remember not wanting to be seen with my parents and my children were much the same, I was always embarassing. I'd try and not take it to personally, its probably not a rejection of you as people or as parents, but a natural wish for a seperate identity. Some youngsters go through this phase, others don't, I guess its especially hard when your elder child does want to do things with you. For now I'd keep an eye on her but don't push things on her which will probably make her dig her heals in even more. 

    It must be very difficult to parent an autistic child who's also showing signs of puberty and the stroppiness that often goes with it, when do you worry that this is beyond normal? I would think there must be some books or other resourses around to help you navigate this phase.

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  • Sounds like puberty is compounding the autism your daughter has, I remember not wanting to be seen with my parents and my children were much the same, I was always embarassing. I'd try and not take it to personally, its probably not a rejection of you as people or as parents, but a natural wish for a seperate identity. Some youngsters go through this phase, others don't, I guess its especially hard when your elder child does want to do things with you. For now I'd keep an eye on her but don't push things on her which will probably make her dig her heals in even more. 

    It must be very difficult to parent an autistic child who's also showing signs of puberty and the stroppiness that often goes with it, when do you worry that this is beyond normal? I would think there must be some books or other resourses around to help you navigate this phase.

Children
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