Change my question

I’ve only experienced this a few times in the past - one was at an appointment with my son at a hospital for some sort of triage assessment thing (this was about 20 years ago) when they made a few comments that were critical of the fact that we basically let our son ‘do what he wanted to do’ rather than ‘training him out’ of some of his ‘autistic behaviours’. For example my son struggled to sit at the table during mealtimes - he liked to periodically get off his chair and run around kind of stimming and then come back to eat at the table. They seemed to be critical of us for letting him do that. I found this very disappointing as we felt we were letting our son do what felt comfortable for him and I was shocked that they felt this was wrong in some way. I felt judged but I also felt strongly that these ‘professionals’ were wrong! 
Also at times I felt certain school staff were judging me. My son had Selective Mutism at school and a lot of teachers were really flummoxed by that and he didn’t get th3 help he needed, and that led to a lot of tension between us and the school, and sometimes we felt judged for challenging the lack of support they were giving him. Not easy. 

I notice that you say that you ‘fear being judged’ - I wouldn’t ’fear it’. It’s not something to fear exactly - but don’t be surprised if you get a bit of that. A lot of people are ignorant about autism - and so can be judgemental. Cross that bridge when you come to it - it’s not very helpful to anticipate it - or to fear it. Maybe you’ll be lucky and it’s not something you’ll come across, but ultimately we cannot control other people’s perceptions of us or our children. 

I’ve only experienced this a few times in the past - one was at an appointment with my son at a hospital for some sort of triage assessment thing (this was about 20 years ago) when they made a few comments that were critical of the fact that we basically let our son ‘do what he wanted to do’ rather than ‘training him out’ of some of his ‘autistic behaviours’. For example my son struggled to sit at the table during mealtimes - he liked to periodically get off his chair and run around kind of stimming and then come back to eat at the table. They seemed to be critical of us for letting him do that. I found this very disappointing as we felt we were letting our son do what felt comfortable for him and I was shocked that they felt this was wrong in some way. I felt judged but I also felt strongly that these ‘professionals’ were wrong! 
Also at times I felt certain school staff were judging me. My son had Selective Mutism at school and a lot of teachers were really flummoxed by that and he didn’t get th3 help he needed, and that led to a lot of tension between us and the school, and sometimes we felt judged for challenging the lack of support they were giving him. Not easy. 

I notice that you say that you ‘fear being judged’ - I wouldn’t ’fear it’. It’s not something to fear exactly - but don’t be surprised if you get a bit of that. A lot of people are ignorant about autism - and so can be judgemental. Cross that bridge when you come to it - it’s not very helpful to anticipate it - or to fear it. Maybe you’ll be lucky and it’s not something you’ll come across, but ultimately we cannot control other people’s perceptions of us or our children.