Rejection by my son

Hi. I have never written anything on a forum before but there is always a first time. I have a 19year son with severe autism and intellectual disability. He moved out of home very early due to dysregulated behaviour aimed at his brothers. It was naturally devastating that he had to move out. My partner and I have continued to see him weekly, but not at his now home as he was unable to cope with that. He ws always very close to me when he lived at home.

Suddenly even thought we don't change his routine he suddenly doesn't want to see me at all. If he sees he shouts "Mummy gone"- it is so loud that everyone in the vicinity can hear him. He has only a few phrases mainly related to food. I am devastated as I am not seeing him at all now. He can tolerate my partner in small doses. I have tried to find acceptance but to not see him at all is not something I can manage.

Would appreciate if anyone has had to experience this. How have you tried to address this. My som lived in a very good home where is lives with carers round the clock.

A sad Mum xxx Greetings from Australia.

Parents
  • Hello. I have much less severe Autism and I have a little contact as possible with my parents/brother, because they neglected/bullied me my entire life, so I finally moved out and got my own space I want them nowhere near it. I am absolutely not saying this is your relationship with your son, its just my experience as a autistic person after I have moved out, the freedom to think and be calm and not get disregulated at all is so precious to me and I don't like doing anything which could break that. If he was disregulated with you before it will feel like it could happen again. I way say be kind to yourself and accept your sadness and give him time to recover emotionally and don't give up on him either. 

Reply
  • Hello. I have much less severe Autism and I have a little contact as possible with my parents/brother, because they neglected/bullied me my entire life, so I finally moved out and got my own space I want them nowhere near it. I am absolutely not saying this is your relationship with your son, its just my experience as a autistic person after I have moved out, the freedom to think and be calm and not get disregulated at all is so precious to me and I don't like doing anything which could break that. If he was disregulated with you before it will feel like it could happen again. I way say be kind to yourself and accept your sadness and give him time to recover emotionally and don't give up on him either. 

Children
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