Kids and chores

I am curious if other parents with kids on the spectrum have as much difficulty as I do 'making' their children do chores?   I have put 'making' in quotes because to be honest, their is no 'making' .. there is only the getting them to agree that it would helpful for them to be helpful at this particular time and place ...

And I guess I just more or less answered my own question because it seems to me, their is no 'making' because attempts to reason, or yell at them (my frustration) don't work - they tend to meltdown if I do that.   They will be very helpful if they are in the mood to be helpful which doesn't actually happen all that often for my son  (almost 16) (once a month and when he does he is outstanding but he has all kinds of other issues like he can only be around other people for about 3-4 hours before he shuts down).

This leaves my poor oldest daughter (age 17) as the main 'slave' because at the moment she is the only one who will do anything ... she doesn't like it though and if I ask too much she will also melt.  And timescales ... unless I give a good reason that she agrees with that it needs to be done 'NOW', she will put it off and go back into her own little world and forget even if I remind her 3 or 4 times a day for 3 days (3 days is about the average length of time it takes for her to do something if it isn't urgent).

NT daughter (age 12) with sensory issues generally times a temper tantrum or angst the moment she is asked to do anything and thus wiggles out of it ...

This is a bit of a rant.   I know I must not be the only one.   During school term time, I don't even begin to ask as everyone is so stressed and overloaded from school

I hate housework myself.  If I had known it would be my main job (besides working full-time and running the house including all the finances and making sure people ate properly ...).  ARRRRRRGGGG ....

Too much.  And the worst thing is ... they aren't getting the skills they will need in the future when I'm gone ...

Anyone else?

Dor