Need advice

Hi my son is almost 18 months old he is in nursery he has been for just over a month now. He is currently going through an autistic diagnosis program as his phycologist believes he is autistic. My concern is he keeps himself to himself at nursery sometimes he will 'interact' by this he will just cope or run to childrens face laugh and run off but most of the time his tunnel vision to anyone being there. My concern is he wont show nursery he cant cope he will go into himself.the second I go though the door its like he just goes in himself He didnt care about me going but now his been there awhile he cowards to me when I drop him of and cries on way there. He always comes out of nursery with bright red ears sometimes to the pount where his actually torn them open. He always get stress hives and a runny bum after nursery his mood at home is intense for one or two days after. He cries in his sleep on nights after nursery 7 times last night. My concern is what do I do? He is non verbal so I sent him with sign book of signs he can do they dont bother with that. When I picked him up he was what I believe stimming (tactile pinching tips of thumb and index finger) to stop himself crying. I ask if he stimming there cuz I see he does they asked whats stimming even though I had told them. They just dont get it at all. He has bad exczema flare ups after nursery aswell. I just dont know what to do anymore. I use visual cards at home but I doubt they would use them. What do I do and does it sound like his not coping? Any one similar experience. Thanks

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    That is very true, outraged. Equally, he may not cope with nursery and may also be food sensitive.

  • NAS18906 said:

    What is the nursery feeding him? It sounds like he is reacting to something if he comes out in hives and is having a runny tum.

    That might be a stress response as easily as a dietry issue.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    What is the nursery feeding him? It sounds like he is reacting to something if he comes out in hives and is having a runny tum.

    IF (big if) he has ASD then nursery may be a bad place for him. It is likely to be very stressful and alien for him.

  • Thank you for your reply and you are very right we are seeing his psychologist in two weeks so I will discuss with her then if I should remove. The only reason he is there is because a nursery will help with diagnosis, I have now informed them in they don't shape up he will be pulled from there.  I have sent him with a sensory bag on toys visual cues and sign book so will see how he gets on next week if no improvement I may have to remove him. It's very clear his struggling. 

  • You need to find a better nursery, I don't know if there are SEN/ASV nurseries but look into that.

    I'm convinced that they have been legaly negligent to have allowed him to self-harm (by pulling on his ears untill they tear).

  • Hi - welcome Smile.   From your post it sounds like he's having a really awful time, not just while he's there, but in the build up to it + afterwards as well.  It wd be v difficult for an 18 month non-autistic child to cope with a nursery s/he didn't like, but if your little 1 is autistic then it'll be soo much worse.   Have you mentioned how bad it is to the psychologist?  If I was in your shoes I wdn't send him.  It sounds like it's all too much for him.  I think you know all this really + perhaps are looking for confirmation of your worries so you can take action?  We parents have to fight to get the right services for our children so don't be fobbed off with whatever the nursery says.  You know he needs better than that ( + so do you because it won't be doing you any gd either).