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Low self esteem

Outdoorfreedom

Hi, 

My son (8) was diagnosed in Jan but these issues have been happening for about 6 months now and are occuring more often. 

Sometimes when he's told off or his brother shouts at him, he cries, shouts and then it goes worse. He says things - nobody loves me, everyone hates me, I'm dumb, I'm stupid, I wish I was dead, I want to be dead, I have no-one. 

This situation can take up to 45 mins for to for him to calm down and he will go back into this state if I try to talk to him about it once he's calm.

I've put in a referral for mindmate, which will take ages. 

Where do I go from here? It's heart breaking.

Thanks. 

  • Hi there Oudoorfreedom.

    I'm sorry to hear about your son, it is heartbreaking to watch our children go through this.

    Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RDS) is I think one of the most upsetting parts of the spectrum.

    These are some things to consider.

    Tips for Managing Sensitivity to Criticism:
    • Validate Feelings: Recognize that the pain from the criticism is real, even if the perceived rejection was not.
    • Focus on Strengths: Build self-esteem by focusing on areas of strength and expertise.
    • Clear Communication: Use direct, kind communication, avoiding ambiguous, sarcastic, or harsh language.
    • Establish Safety: Create environments where the person feels accepted, reducing the need to mask.
    • Seek Support: Therapy, especially cognitive behavioral techniques, can help manage the intense emotions associated with rejection

  • Good morning from America, Outdoorfreedom.

    This is a tricky situation and I can imagine it feels horrible to hear your son say such things. I’m not sure what mindmate is, but if it is a therapy service I think that is a great idea. Therapy might be able to help your son with coping techniques.

    The only thing I can think of that I would try is reframing. So when your son says something offensive like what you have listed, I would suggest saying something like “What makes you think that?” very calmly. He might not respond to that question, but if he does it might help ease him into realizing that his fears of being hated are not founded on reality. Again though, when he is in a heightened state he might not be willing to consider what makes him think that, but it is worth a shot, I think.