Looking for local advice on private autism/ADHD assessments and therapy for my teenage son (Nottinghamshire)

Hello everyone,

I’m hoping to get some advice and shared experience from other parents, particularly around private assessments and psychotherapy, ideally with local recommendations.

Our 16-year-old son has been struggling significantly with his mental health over the past year. He has become very withdrawn and emotionally flat, with ongoing low mood, loss of motivation, and periods of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. He has recently been seen by a private consultant psychiatrist, and we are currently waiting for a CAMHS triage/pre-assessment phone call later in February.

Following the psychiatric assessment, autism has been suggested as a possibility, particularly in the context of burnout. ADHD (especially inattentive type), or a combination of both, has also been discussed, though nothing has been formally diagnosed yet. Looking back, he was a bright, sensitive, rule-bound child who coped well until adolescence, when increasing academic and social demands seemed to become overwhelming.

At this stage, we are keen to move forward proactively rather than wait in limbo, and we would really value advice from parents who have been in a similar position. In particular:

Are there any private autism and/or ADHD assessment services (especially combined assessments) that people would recommend, either locally in Nottinghamshire / East Midlands or elsewhere if worth travelling?

What helped you decide whether to pursue an autism assessment, ADHD assessment, or a combined one when the picture wasn’t clear?

Can anyone recommend psychotherapists or counselling services experienced in working with neurodivergent teenagers, particularly those dealing with burnout, depression, or self-harm?

Were there specific therapy approaches that were more helpful for your child (or ones that didn’t suit)?

If you went private, what helped you judge whether a service was genuinely high quality and worth the cost?

We’re not looking for quick fixes or labels for their own sake — just clarity, the right support, and a way forward that genuinely helps our son feel safer and more himself again.

Thank you so much for reading, and for any experiences or recommendations you’re willing to share.

Parents
  • Not sure if you’re still online, but our boy is currently going through this after the transitions to secondary. Like yours, we didn’t see problems in primary at all. We are in Scotland so can’t advise on local options, but we are seeing a psychiatrist privately and have started medication. She feels there is underlying autism and that he was able to cope until things got harder in high school and now he is overwhelmed and severely anxious. One thing that made sense to us when trying to decide whether to seek diagnosis or treat the anxiety is that neurodivergent traits aren’t illness, but when levels of distress are significant enough to disrupt doing what you want or should be doing that *is* mental illness and should be treated as such as a first priority. She said depression very often follows prolonged anxiety and treating this is more important than formal assessment of ND at this stage. That helped us know what to do first. 

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  • Not sure if you’re still online, but our boy is currently going through this after the transitions to secondary. Like yours, we didn’t see problems in primary at all. We are in Scotland so can’t advise on local options, but we are seeing a psychiatrist privately and have started medication. She feels there is underlying autism and that he was able to cope until things got harder in high school and now he is overwhelmed and severely anxious. One thing that made sense to us when trying to decide whether to seek diagnosis or treat the anxiety is that neurodivergent traits aren’t illness, but when levels of distress are significant enough to disrupt doing what you want or should be doing that *is* mental illness and should be treated as such as a first priority. She said depression very often follows prolonged anxiety and treating this is more important than formal assessment of ND at this stage. That helped us know what to do first. 

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