Son on stage 4 disciplinary

Hi all, if anyone can relate i desperately need advice. My son is 14 and moved to a college setting for 14 to 16 year olds. It has been amazing for him. No constant phone calls like at school. Friday he got into conflict with another boy. He started on my son for not helping another boy duing a fight. My son said there was nothing he could do and swore at this boy. It then turns into a pushing tussle between them both with staff trying to intervene. 

My son threatens to get people to come to the college with weapons. This was out of ear shot to the boy he was arguing with but infront of a staff member. 

He calls his dad who. I am separated from crying and totally disregulated. His dad tells him to leave the college and go meet him. With this now in his head and a reason to leave he goes through the staff dealing with the incident out side and jumps the fence.

All of this has lead to serious consequences and highly likely he will be removed from the collage. I have a meeting in the week.

My son struggles with emotion, he does not deal well with conflict and goes into a fight or flight situation. At home he is brilliant, helpfull and kind with siblings. He told me he panicked and felt fearful the other boy is well known and my son thought he could be in danger hense his response of getting people down. His not a boy to roam streets he prefers to sit in watch sport or go on his gaming and only has 2 close friends who he doesn't see very often.

This is the first time his got into any trouble and up until now been doing so well at college. Im heartbroken this has happened and really worried for his future.

Im trying to find a group or some support that could help him with how he deals with emotion and more importantly conflict.

This is the first place I am trying in the hope someone will understand and offer some advice.

Sorry for long post and thank you for taking time to read.

Parents
  • Hi, is there any inclusion/ senco person to speak to. Not sure how much help this will be but whenever my son got into trouble he was never the one to start anything but always the one that got seen when retaliating so it's really important you get his version across. I used to encourage him to confide in me when he was having even the smallest of issues with anyone, then i would let senco know to keep eye out and then if anything happened they were pre warned and didn't jump to conclusions to who was at fault. Best to have a talk all together about appropriate behaviour too, especially around threats. They do have to take that seriously. Quite often they keep getting told, don't do this, don't do that, but aren't told what to do instead. He'll need those options.

Reply
  • Hi, is there any inclusion/ senco person to speak to. Not sure how much help this will be but whenever my son got into trouble he was never the one to start anything but always the one that got seen when retaliating so it's really important you get his version across. I used to encourage him to confide in me when he was having even the smallest of issues with anyone, then i would let senco know to keep eye out and then if anything happened they were pre warned and didn't jump to conclusions to who was at fault. Best to have a talk all together about appropriate behaviour too, especially around threats. They do have to take that seriously. Quite often they keep getting told, don't do this, don't do that, but aren't told what to do instead. He'll need those options.

Children
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