Hi,
First post here, not really a massive issue but wondered if I’m not alone encountering this type of situation?
I’ve got an autistic 18yr old son, who is a lovely lad. I’ve managed to hurt his feelings this evening, not intentionally, but I still feel awful about it.
My daughter and her boyfriend are visiting, and we all sat down to watch the rugby this afternoon. As soon as the game started my son came down with his guitar to show me a new strumming technique he has been working on. No problem there, I usually love it when he comes down for a chat (more of a one sided monologue usually, but that’s ok!). He sits himself down in front of the TV and proceeds to strum the same note on his guitar constantly for at least five minutes, seemingly oblivious to the fact that there’s three people trying to watch something, but all too polite to say anything.
When it’s just me and him I will always pause the TV and give him my full attention until he’s finished what he wants to say, but this time after at least five minutes of this, and no sign of it stopping, I said it was making it a bit tricky to listen to the rugby. He just got up and left the room, and although I immediately went after him and apologised I could tell he was hurt.
I’m sure it’ll be fine tomorrow, but I just hate upsetting him. I do really try and give him all my attention when he wants to talk to (at) me, but his timing is sometimes terrible - e.g. when I’ve just stepped out the front door to go to work and I’m standing on the doorstep in the rain waiting to get in the car!! - and he just doesn’t seem to notice.
Anyway, not sure what I’m hoping to hear, maybe some advice on how to deal with these situations without hurting his feelings?
Cheers