Struggling to relate to friends with neurotypical children

Do you have children yourself? If not it will be hard to have conversations about this as you won't have the same frame of reference experience to call on.

What you can do however is listen, sympathise when they are talking about their issues and ask them if they want to talk about them - often they just want a sympathetic ear and are not looking for someone to solve their problems. Treat their conversations as a way of learning about how different experiences work - be inquisitive and offer some sort of praise if they have done well (even if it is "you did all that - that is so awesome").

Now to the sensitive subject:

RebeccaH said:

I don't know how to share how difficult our lives are

If they are NT then they also won't have the same frame of reference to work from to see your issues so hopefully they will extend the courtesy of listening to your issues and offer a friendly ear, but like you and their issues, they won't really be able to understand what you go through.

If you want any advice then I would say talk about the things you talked about before the babies came along - remind them of the good old days from time to time and remind them when they were more carefree and not just a "mum". 

Children can take so much time and effort that it can be hard to remember you were once an independent adult and this should remind that they are more than their current situation.

Personally I would avoid talking about my problems that they will be unable to relate to. I would find happier things to talk about, more upbeat subjects that make you both feel positive, including their plans for the future.

This way the meeting becomes a positive event and makes everyone feel better and makes you someone they like to see more of.

Do you have children yourself? If not it will be hard to have conversations about this as you won't have the same frame of reference experience to call on.

What you can do however is listen, sympathise when they are talking about their issues and ask them if they want to talk about them - often they just want a sympathetic ear and are not looking for someone to solve their problems. Treat their conversations as a way of learning about how different experiences work - be inquisitive and offer some sort of praise if they have done well (even if it is "you did all that - that is so awesome").

Now to the sensitive subject:

RebeccaH said:

I don't know how to share how difficult our lives are

If they are NT then they also won't have the same frame of reference to work from to see your issues so hopefully they will extend the courtesy of listening to your issues and offer a friendly ear, but like you and their issues, they won't really be able to understand what you go through.

If you want any advice then I would say talk about the things you talked about before the babies came along - remind them of the good old days from time to time and remind them when they were more carefree and not just a "mum". 

Children can take so much time and effort that it can be hard to remember you were once an independent adult and this should remind that they are more than their current situation.

Personally I would avoid talking about my problems that they will be unable to relate to. I would find happier things to talk about, more upbeat subjects that make you both feel positive, including their plans for the future.

This way the meeting becomes a positive event and makes everyone feel better and makes you someone they like to see more of.