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How much screen time is too much screen time?

ArlenaElewars

Hi all, first post here. A bit about me, I'm 38 yo female recently diagnosed with ASD. Probably been in low grade burnout since children arrived. I work as a veterinary sugeon 4 days a week, though I've had to take time off for mental health reasons several times over the last year. Currently I'm going through a divorce and separated from my kinda emotionally abusive husband. I'm single parenting two undiagnosed, but probably neurodivergent children. My older boy is 6 and his younger sister is 3, nearly 4.

I find weekends really hard right now. If I'm doing the weekend by myself, I always start with good intentions, but the kids just seem to want to watch TV or play on tablets the whole time. Trying to pull them away and get them outside is a monumental effort. Trips out will range from going to the park, on a walk in nature, to local attractions and softplay. Sometimes it will be essential errands like going shopping, though I'm now more aware of the sensory overwhelm that comes with that. I will ask them what they want to do and try to respect their decisions as much as possible, but issues arise when they want to do different things. 

There are times when I just run out of steam. Trying to talk them away from the TV, dealing with the occasional meltdown over it and trying to decide where we're going, packing up, arguing over shoes and talking them into the car if we're driving, just feels like more effort than it's worth. There have definitely been times when I've given up and left them watching. I pay for it later when they go nuts at bed time.

So my question is, any tips for motivating neurodiverse, probaby autistic, children to step away from the television and get them out of the house. And also, how much screen time is too much? It's so hard to get them away from it.

Thanks.

  • Depends on what sort of TV. I haven't got children but watch a lot of documentaries, archaeology, learning to cook, programmes about places I've never been - and never likely too. Perhaps set limits for TV but allow extra time for 'improving' types of programme?

  • I think it may be easier by having some rules and making some routines. E.g morning for TV or playing games, afternoon for doing something outside, could just be in the garden. Maybe a bit more screen time before tea. Then books, colouring, board game or physical toy before bed, something less visually stimulating.

    By having a routine and knowing what to expect, and agreeing, or just stating, what will be done the next day, everyone knows what to is coming, including you.

    If I want to do something the next day I have to decide before I go to bed, or I most likely won't do anything. Spur of the moment things are hard.

  • Hi and welcome to the community. I have no idea how much screen time is too much. But have you tried scheduling activities on a planner? For example you could write "park" on the Saturday morning section and put a picture on it that means park (such as a swing or slide) Prepare them by telling them the day before what they will be doing the next day and showing them the planner, so they know what to expect. You could also offer a treat when you are out, such as going to a cafe for a hot chocolate and cake after they have finished the activity you planned.

    If they each want to do different things, tell them they can do what one wants on Saturday and what the other wants on Sunday (you choose which order to do them in)

    Another idea is a star chart, where they get a star sticker each day they have done a non screen activity planned by you and at the end of the week they get a small reward if they have earned a sticker every day.