Hi there,
I’m new here but need some help and support in knowing what help I can access to help my son manage his emotions. I’m feeling pretty helpless since we finally got his diagnosis via the right to refer route after waiting nearly 3 years for an assessment via the school referral. My son is 7 years old, and we’ve known since he was 1 that he’s potentially autistic. He’s always struggled socially, but is super intelligent and doing amazingly academically whilst masking at school to fit in. What does this mean for me? A very frustrated, exhausted, confused little boy who doesn’t know how to deal with or regulate his emotions when at home. More recently towards the end of the summer holidays, things got bad, and in frustration when something small didn’t go his way, he’s started biting me or shouting awful awful words like ‘I’m going to kill you’, ‘die’. Heartbreaking and hard to hear. But I know he doesn’t know what he’s saying and can’t help what he’s saying. Now my biggest worry is that soon he can no longer mask and gets himself into serious trouble. Today, I was pulled to the side at school pick up, with a very upset and emotional 7 years old boy saying he was so upset he felt sick. His teacher in front of the other parents basically told me his behaviour today at lunch was unacceptable, and that he had bitten another child and left a visible bite mark on the other child. I felt like I was being told off and also trying to defend his actions. I asked if she knew of his diagnosis, if she had spoken to the Senco teacher, or read his report. To which she replied, I still need to properly read up on his report and speak to Senco. Fuming! Surely the school need to communicate to the staff of his behavioural problems/diagnosis. And therefore understand what had happened to trigger this reaction. He was clearly upset and overstimulated and led to him biting someone in frustration. I have since found out that he did this because the other child (also on the spectrum) had done something to upset him. My son was then taken inside the corridor and was being shouted at to stop crying and ‘disciplined’. Surely this isn’t how this situation should have been dealt with? I would therefore just like some advice on how I should a) approach the school on this incident and b) what help and support can I get for my son to help regulate his anger/emotions? Thank you.
