Advice dealing with hurtful comments and aggressive behaviour please

Hi,

  1. This is my first post, my 8 yo son has just been diagnosed.  He has recently begun using very hurtful an inappropriate language towards family and friends and not just me.  He has often wished me dead, says he hates me etc and has done for a couple of years now.  However, he has begun to say these things to other family members and it's really difficult to hear.  He will often tell his older brother to kill himself or wishes him dead.  Not only is this hurtful language directed at more people now,it is becoming more elaborate.  For example when it came to bedtime this evening he told me that he hopes the house catches fire and it burns down with us all in it whilst we sleep. 

I ignore the hurtful comments and remain calm but this is having no affect on the behaviour and he gets increasingly angry when I fail to respond emotionally.  It is usually at this point where he will lash out violently. 

Can anybody please offer any advice on dealing with this? I am concerned that if the wrong person. Hears such comments ts or he begins to use this language at school that it could have a significant negative impact on him and us as a family.  

Thank you for reading, I am so happy to be here and communicating with other parents in the same boat

Frin 

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Parents
  • Sorry I forgot to mention that my son attended equine therapy for around two years which helped him to communicate and talk about his worries as he calls them. His therapist is who advised me on distraction when trying to talk about things. 
    Was also advised not to bring anything up right at bedtime or especially if there wasn’t time to have a conversation. 

    I hope things become a little easier for you and your son

Reply
  • Sorry I forgot to mention that my son attended equine therapy for around two years which helped him to communicate and talk about his worries as he calls them. His therapist is who advised me on distraction when trying to talk about things. 
    Was also advised not to bring anything up right at bedtime or especially if there wasn’t time to have a conversation. 

    I hope things become a little easier for you and your son

Children
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