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Advice dealing with hurtful comments and aggressive behaviour please

Frin1979

Hi,

  1. This is my first post, my 8 yo son has just been diagnosed.  He has recently begun using very hurtful an inappropriate language towards family and friends and not just me.  He has often wished me dead, says he hates me etc and has done for a couple of years now.  However, he has begun to say these things to other family members and it's really difficult to hear.  He will often tell his older brother to kill himself or wishes him dead.  Not only is this hurtful language directed at more people now,it is becoming more elaborate.  For example when it came to bedtime this evening he told me that he hopes the house catches fire and it burns down with us all in it whilst we sleep. 

I ignore the hurtful comments and remain calm but this is having no affect on the behaviour and he gets increasingly angry when I fail to respond emotionally.  It is usually at this point where he will lash out violently. 

Can anybody please offer any advice on dealing with this? I am concerned that if the wrong person. Hears such comments ts or he begins to use this language at school that it could have a significant negative impact on him and us as a family.  

Thank you for reading, I am so happy to be here and communicating with other parents in the same boat

Frin 

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Parents

  • Hi Frin, I'm sorry you are going through this. Most people here gave you advice,  so there is not much I can say. Maybe your son is for some reason frustrated, maybe deeply frustrated, but he himself does not understand why. Atherapy could help manage it.

    I was usually aggressive towards myself in my childhood and teens, but I also remember screaming to my mom's face - why she gave birth to me, she should have done an abortion. It wasn't that I really meant it, but it was a cry of frustration that i was so different. It hurt her, but she has never done anything with my problems.  There are more therapies available now, so I hope you will find one for your son. Is he all the time like this? I remember that I was very quiet and also caring, I used to help my mom with all the household duties since the age of 12. But in certain situations I was terribly violent.

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  • Hi Frin, I'm sorry you are going through this. Most people here gave you advice,  so there is not much I can say. Maybe your son is for some reason frustrated, maybe deeply frustrated, but he himself does not understand why. Atherapy could help manage it.

    I was usually aggressive towards myself in my childhood and teens, but I also remember screaming to my mom's face - why she gave birth to me, she should have done an abortion. It wasn't that I really meant it, but it was a cry of frustration that i was so different. It hurt her, but she has never done anything with my problems.  There are more therapies available now, so I hope you will find one for your son. Is he all the time like this? I remember that I was very quiet and also caring, I used to help my mom with all the household duties since the age of 12. But in certain situations I was terribly violent.

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