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It's Sunday and my son is already crying about school

Lupo

My son is autistic and hates school. He says he would rather kill himself than attend school where he feels no one understands him and he doesnt feel "safe". 

I do t know now what to do. When he gets to school he doesnt stay in any lessons. He either tries to run out of school or hide.

  • Hi Lupo

     I can see this must be a very stressfull time for you both and from what you say it seems he is not being supported adequately either by the School or your Mental Health team.

    Personally, I found CAHM's good at diagnosis, but not so good at support. I ended up having to get my son independant support for his Mental Health needs. 6 sessions with Cahm's wasn't enough and didn't give him any coping strategies for his meltdowns. Are you able to ask your GP for a referal to a councellor for him? Failing that, you may have to find one yourself who is Autism Aware. This however, is only part of the issue. Without proper support in School he isn't going to cope well and this runs the risk of carrying over into Secondary unless it's addressed. A School that isn't addressing his needs, whether he has a statement or not, is failing him. Are you able to get an advocate involved to sharpen the Schools Focus?

    Sadly, my son had to leave his primary for the very same reason. His School refused to accept he had anything wrong with him, even when faced with proffessional diagnosis and evidence. Home Schooling is not for the faint hearted however, for us it was the only option until our LEA offered him a place at his specialist School for his final year at Primary. It was the perfect stepping stone as he then went onto a mainstream Secondary with his Statement and an extremely forward thinking School.

    Will your LEA authority consider a change of School? Whilst change isn't ideal for some, it proved to be a life saver for my son. Do you have a specialist School near you?

    Regards

    CoogyBear x

  • Hi CoogyBear

    my son is 10 nearly 11. We have regular meetings with Head teacher, SENCO, ed Physc and CAHMS. He is in mainstream schoold and the school just dont know what to do with him. He doesn't get bullied but can't go out at lunchtes because he gets angry when kids break rules when playing games. He doesn't hurt other children but try's to hurt himself and run away.

    we are waiting for a held care and education plan (new statement). He only has one year left at this school and then he goes to secondary school.

    When he got his diagnosis a month ago I told CAHMS and they signed him off this books but the doctor who diagnosed him said he should still be with them for mental health reasons.

    i took me 3 years to fight the school to agree that he was autistic and not behaviour so now his behaviour has become extreme because he never got the support he needed.

    Lupo x

  • Hi Lupo,

      My son was also a School refuser and I ended up Home Schooling him at one point. Do you mind me asking, How old is your son and does he have a statement or support at School? Is the School a specailist School or mainstream? Have you spoken to the School about how your son feels and what accommodation could be made to help him feel safe? Is he being bullied?

    Their are many factors to consider. Are you able to give a little more information?

    Regards

    CoogyBear xx