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Worried about behaviour of 4 year old at school

Stargirl90

Hi this is my first post here I’m not sure who else to talk to who will understand how I feel. 
For background- my son is 4 (turns 5 in January) he just started school a week ago. He’s been in preschool so some staff know him. The school senco is working with me to try for an EHCP. He is not diagnosed yet he’s still awaiting assessment (his brother and dad both have ASD)

The teacher had a word with me after class again today, he was pushing children and pushed a teacher over who was crouching down. Snatched off another child, told them he was going to hurt them with a knife. I’ve also been told on previous days that he shouts a lot, such as big tantrums if he doesn’t get chosen for a task/doesn’t win the prize/doesn’t get picked for something. Loudly saying the lesson is boring, just generally not co operative or reasonable at all. He's the same at home. The thing is I feel really sad about it, I feel like this is my fault and I should be doing more to get him to have better behaviour at school. He’s only been there a week so it’s early days but I’m so worried about him. 

A TA said last week he was shouting and kicking off because another child won dojo points instead of him and she shrugged and said other people are gonna win all the time (basically he needs to get used to it) it just made me feel rubbish and I don’t know what I can do to help him with his behaviour. 

I suppose I’m hoping for some reassurance that things will get better as he gets used to school and grows up a bit Cry

Parents

  • Good morning from America stargirl90!

    Your son sounds a lot like my daughter C (age 7). Transitions are very difficult for her and she has a tendency to be really impulsive. It certainly can get better as they get more accustomed to school, but one thing that helped us in our situation was art therapy. That form of therapy gave her a great creative outlet and another grown up voice to help with managing stress, transitions, and big emotions. Even if art therapy in particular might not be an option for you, getting some form of therapy could be helpful.

    Our daughter still has difficult days (like last week was pretty rough), but we’re hearing more positive news from the teachers these days. She’s mostly integrated in a regular classroom while spending a little of her day in a social/emotional focused classroom as well.

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  • Good morning from America stargirl90!

    Your son sounds a lot like my daughter C (age 7). Transitions are very difficult for her and she has a tendency to be really impulsive. It certainly can get better as they get more accustomed to school, but one thing that helped us in our situation was art therapy. That form of therapy gave her a great creative outlet and another grown up voice to help with managing stress, transitions, and big emotions. Even if art therapy in particular might not be an option for you, getting some form of therapy could be helpful.

    Our daughter still has difficult days (like last week was pretty rough), but we’re hearing more positive news from the teachers these days. She’s mostly integrated in a regular classroom while spending a little of her day in a social/emotional focused classroom as well.

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