Sensitivity Issues

Hi. This is my first time on the forum. My background is that I have a 10 year old daughter who I believe has mild aspergers. She is in mainstream education and had an assessment by an educational psychologist who believed she ticked a lot of the boxes for aspergers but wanted a full assessment. Because her school were prepared to help without the full diagnosis and she was getting upset about it, we made a decision to leave it for now and see how the next few years go.

A growing issue however seems to be her sensitivity to clothing and especially shoes. She spends most of her time wearing flipflops (which I hate her running around in as they're not safe!) and won't wear any shoes that touch the side of her foot or her toes. We end up buying clarks shoes that are a couple of times wider than her feet! Clothes wise she wont wear jeans, leggings or shorts, its mainly joggers and dresses. She's worn the same style of trousers for school since she was three and now she says they're too tight and she won't wear any others! We are managing with one loose skirt that looks huge on her!

It's getting more and more difficult to clothe her and I'm dreading secondary school next year as I can forsee issues with a shirt and a blazer.

I've rambled a lot but I wondered whether there is any help out there to deal with sensitivity issues before they continue to get worse?

Thanks Nicknack x

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Hello Nicknack,

     I'm mum of a boy with highfunction ASD, we had many sensitivity issues about clothes ans shoes, might be they were and are a bit differrent to Your daughters, but You could, probably, try the things we did. However it might not to be easy, to reach an agreement with a 10 years old child (I don't know, my boy is my only child, and he is 5 years old).

     My boy hated short sleeved t-shirts, shorts, some textures, colours and clothing models...and refused to wear many shoes and clothes I bought for him (even when we were shopping together and it was his choise). Well, we had a times, when he didn't wanted to wear shoes at all, at the same time crying because he didn't liked to be barefooted (without shoes and socks) and had times, when he needed to get used to wear school uniform to start school in September, but he hated it few months before that.

     There are many shoes on the market he found not to be comfortable for him, so I'm usually buying few sizes forward, when he finds the model he is ok with.

     Things, that were helpful to us:

     As my boy didn't liked when shoe was fitting snugly - I did nearly the same like You, I did bought a wider shoes (but boots and ankle shoes, with the high top, to be able to fix them on his feet securely around his ankle). We started in early autumn with indoor slipper boots - as they feel softer and not heavy.

     Have to say I was (and I am) a cunning mummy - I've bought slippers in his favourite colour and much loved animal picture on them, to encourage him to wear them on. He was wearing them for a few minutes in the beginning (and had lots of ovations from me for being so kind), then reached few hours, gradually increasing the time. After he felt comfortable to wear slipper boots - we moved to high top ancle shoes to wear outside. It wasn't an easy job to find the propper shoe: not heavy, soft, waterproof, warm and comfortable for him - but we did. They were wider and bigger, then needed, and by time the winter came he had to use his favourite winter socks with them - which made tim to feel a bit snuglier fitting then before. After that, when the winter was nearly gone - the sole on the ancle shoes was quite worn and I told to my son something like a social story about he will have a hole it his shoe soon and the water will be able to come into his shoe, making feets feeling very cold - and it'll make him unwell - and feeling unwell will stop him to go for a walks - and the way to avoid this is the purchase of a bit bigger size (as feet is growing too) , blah-blah-blah... My boy agreed to get a same model and I bought bigger size, but smaller fitting (silly mummy) and he wore them with usual socks (not the winter ones anymore).

     Together with wearing shoes I was practicing massage for my son and found it very helpful to teach him how to tolerate snuglier fitting (and some clothes textures too; then more often any body part is sensory stimulated - then less sensitivity issued it becomes).

     After he got used to wear his favourite ancle shoe model and there was nearly summer - we had to find good sandals...wasn't easy too, tried much, but stopped with really soft ones and yes - we are still growing, wearing the same models for more, then 3 years now, but the defference is - hmy son is now wearing the right size and fitting...time by time I'm trying to introduce few new models - only three more of them he is now able to wear too, the rest are gone for resale.

     About the uniform - he refused too, unless I found pull on trousers very similar to the ones he used to wear at home, bought a long sleeve white t-shirts (not the red ones and blue ones) and a cardigan instead of sweater (at the time he needed to start school he was very fascinated with buttons, so both, the cardigan and the t-shirt, were with buttons).  We used to try to wear any part of the uniform during summer (not all together) at home, doing his favourite activities and giving lots of compliments about how smart and cute he looks - so it gave him positive attitude to this clothes and he was ready to wear them by September. Also, there are some "magic words and phrases" I'm using to describe if something is good or not good - when applying the same "magic word" for something he really likes and enjoys - and then applying it to describe something he is not sure about, but I'd like him to try - helps him to calm down and get ready to try it.

     The most important thing is - not to give up when faced with difficulties, if Your child doesn't want to wear this shoes - try others; not this trousers? - try others; not this time? - try later; not a good day? - choose another day; not in this colour? - try another; not ready right now? - give them more time; not sure? - reassure with Your positive attitude and patience (e.g. telling: "oh, yes, darling, I know, I don't like this uniform too, but You must wear it" - would not hepl)...remember the king Solomon's ring: "This too shall Pass", as You never know what surprise and Your child's achievement is waiting for You tomorrow.

     Hope something was helpful,

     Kind regards,

     

  • This is a question that I'm sure lots of parents could help you with but I'm a bit surprised there have been no responses.

    The problem is that sensory issues are often understated, so you'll find references to it - the NAS site mentions not liking pressure on hands and feet, but doesn't appear to expand on this. Also certain types of clothing that might seem gentle to you can feel scratchy and uncomfortable.

    There are websites with information from Temple Grandin eg www.autism.com/grandin_FAQ  question 9 on clothes, and if you can find her books in a library, she does comment on this.

    But if you give people time you'll get feedback from parents about what they've tried that has worked.

    Hope you get some useful replies soon...