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I'm frustrated!!

KittyKat

It's hard to know where to start! My son is almost 3 and has been diagnosed with autism - they're not sure what kind yet as his development is significantly delayed (alomost half of what it should be) so it's hard for them to assess him properly.

I'm frustrated because I feel like I'm surrounded by people who are (to some extent) supportive (although this very rarely translates into any practical help) but that whenever I have a day (like today!) were I'm just sad about his diagnosis, that I come in for a load of flack about how I should get over it and be happy that I have a healthy baby and that given a few years he'll be fine and if I just stopped comparing him to his sister (which I'd like to say I don't!) I'd be much happier.

Why does everyone around me seem to feel that it's such a terrible crime for me just to want to feel sad about it for a little while before I pull myself together (also everyone's advice!!) and carry on?

I suppose all I want is for someone to give me a hug, say "it's fine - have a good cry, feel sad and then get cracking again" - it's not a lot to ask for is it?

Parents

  • Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom and support and hugs!!

    I was quite tentative about coming on here but I'm very glad I did, although at first I feel like I'm just going to be moaning and complaining a lot!! I'll try not to but it's kinda getting everything off my chest now I've found people who can understand.

    If I'm honest I've just spent the best part of an hour in tears - and ironically it's not because of my son or anything that's happened with him but because of a lot of the people around me.

    To cut a long story short I basically feel like I'm working my ass off doing the best I can, introducing new techniques to manage the more challenging problems and advising everyone and providing them with what they need to do when they have him and all I get is criticism and complaints, rolled eyes and, well, judged I suppose for not doing a good enough job. I already spend most of my time wondering am I doing a good enough job, am I trying hard enough, without getting it from all quarters as well, especially from his dad (we're not together) who has turned up for half a dozen appointments at best and does nothing to work on the issues our son has.

    I'm so sorry for coming back on and complaining AGAIN!!  I'm just finding it all really hard to take at the moment.

Reply

  • Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom and support and hugs!!

    I was quite tentative about coming on here but I'm very glad I did, although at first I feel like I'm just going to be moaning and complaining a lot!! I'll try not to but it's kinda getting everything off my chest now I've found people who can understand.

    If I'm honest I've just spent the best part of an hour in tears - and ironically it's not because of my son or anything that's happened with him but because of a lot of the people around me.

    To cut a long story short I basically feel like I'm working my ass off doing the best I can, introducing new techniques to manage the more challenging problems and advising everyone and providing them with what they need to do when they have him and all I get is criticism and complaints, rolled eyes and, well, judged I suppose for not doing a good enough job. I already spend most of my time wondering am I doing a good enough job, am I trying hard enough, without getting it from all quarters as well, especially from his dad (we're not together) who has turned up for half a dozen appointments at best and does nothing to work on the issues our son has.

    I'm so sorry for coming back on and complaining AGAIN!!  I'm just finding it all really hard to take at the moment.

Children
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