• Replies 14 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 3173 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

hi everyone

jakethesnakesmum

Hi Everyone

 

I am Amanda and mum to 3 kids, one with autism, although i am certain my other 2 have something wrong too.  I'm not too sure how i feel or what i am doing so thought i could find some solace with other parents in the same position.

 

We always knew there wasn't something quite right with Jake, now 6, he didn't make eye contact or weight bear as a toddler and only started to walk after intense physio when he was 2, he didn't talk til he was nearly 4 and relied on Makaton. About 2 years ago he was diagnosed as Autistic and Dyspraxic which i immediately accepted and seeked the help he needed although tbh we have been very very lucky with all the support Jake has had and i feel very confident that without it he would be a very different little boy today.  My problem lies with the school.  They are very good with him but always telling me he's fine at school so must be something i am doing and they are not sure of his diagnosis (despite having a statement at 2) but then when the annual review comes round they say they have broken the budget as he has been needing extra support to deal with his anxiety !?! Whenever i feel like i need to find extra support someone convinces me he's fine and it's all in my head - does anyone else experience this from teachers or well meaning friends and family? We've got to a point now where i can't cope with his outbursts and moodswings. He physically attacks us when he doesn't get his own way and is always screaming and running off. I just need to feel that i am not alone or a bad mother.  I could rabbit on for ages but don't want to scare you all off.

 

I hope there is someone who recognises themselves in this and can help me before i lose my mind.  I didn't realise how down this is getting me until today when i realised just how hard i work to appease him.  I love him dearly and wouldn't swap him for the world but its so hard sometimes. My youngest daughter is only 17 months younger than him and is exactly the same - almost worse - but i can't get help as the school refuse to accept there is anything wrong (despite being on school action plus!!)

Anyway would love to speak to other parents if i haven't sent you all running. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Amanda xx

 

Parents

  • Hi Sam

    I can totally relate to what you are saying and I have a 5 yr old waiting assessment. I am having the exact same issues with school as you are. I go in, talk about my concerns, how unhappy/angry/frustrated my son is and it's all 'oh he's fine'..then I am called in because he has attacked one of his peers 'for no reason'.

    I finally spoke to a professional that really listened this week. It was scary but a relief too as from the questions I was being asked I knew what she was thinking. 

    I took my sons on a very brief, well prepared for trip to the shop today and I had a nightmare meltdown to cope with. I sat at home afterwards with my head in my hands feeling physically battered and mentally demoralised because I was at a loss as how anyone could not see how frightened and angry my poor boy is right now.

    On reflection tonight I am more determined than ever to push and push for answers and the right support. The professional I spoke to this week said from what you are telling me I cannot believe how the school can say there isn't a problem. The parent support worker even added to the CAMHS that this was categorically NOT a parenting issue and that I had be more than fair in my dealings with the school and that she felt the school were ignoring my concerns and giving conflicting reports to her and me.

    SO hang in there you are bound to feel this way, it's hard being a parent at the best of times but battling against the system is more draining than we give ourselves credit for sometimes. You're are doing your best and you will get there.

    Keep posting there are always people around on the boards to listen and I have found it a huge comfort reading your post and knowing it 'isn't just me' and I am not 'mad' 'insane' or 'attention seeking'. I could relate to so much you were saying. Shame we have to go through it but we love our kids and would battle on regardless knowing we are sometimes the lone voice fighting their corner.

    Take care

    Oatie

    x

Reply

  • Hi Sam

    I can totally relate to what you are saying and I have a 5 yr old waiting assessment. I am having the exact same issues with school as you are. I go in, talk about my concerns, how unhappy/angry/frustrated my son is and it's all 'oh he's fine'..then I am called in because he has attacked one of his peers 'for no reason'.

    I finally spoke to a professional that really listened this week. It was scary but a relief too as from the questions I was being asked I knew what she was thinking. 

    I took my sons on a very brief, well prepared for trip to the shop today and I had a nightmare meltdown to cope with. I sat at home afterwards with my head in my hands feeling physically battered and mentally demoralised because I was at a loss as how anyone could not see how frightened and angry my poor boy is right now.

    On reflection tonight I am more determined than ever to push and push for answers and the right support. The professional I spoke to this week said from what you are telling me I cannot believe how the school can say there isn't a problem. The parent support worker even added to the CAMHS that this was categorically NOT a parenting issue and that I had be more than fair in my dealings with the school and that she felt the school were ignoring my concerns and giving conflicting reports to her and me.

    SO hang in there you are bound to feel this way, it's hard being a parent at the best of times but battling against the system is more draining than we give ourselves credit for sometimes. You're are doing your best and you will get there.

    Keep posting there are always people around on the boards to listen and I have found it a huge comfort reading your post and knowing it 'isn't just me' and I am not 'mad' 'insane' or 'attention seeking'. I could relate to so much you were saying. Shame we have to go through it but we love our kids and would battle on regardless knowing we are sometimes the lone voice fighting their corner.

    Take care

    Oatie

    x

Children
No Data