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hi everyone

jakethesnakesmum

Hi Everyone

 

I am Amanda and mum to 3 kids, one with autism, although i am certain my other 2 have something wrong too.  I'm not too sure how i feel or what i am doing so thought i could find some solace with other parents in the same position.

 

We always knew there wasn't something quite right with Jake, now 6, he didn't make eye contact or weight bear as a toddler and only started to walk after intense physio when he was 2, he didn't talk til he was nearly 4 and relied on Makaton. About 2 years ago he was diagnosed as Autistic and Dyspraxic which i immediately accepted and seeked the help he needed although tbh we have been very very lucky with all the support Jake has had and i feel very confident that without it he would be a very different little boy today.  My problem lies with the school.  They are very good with him but always telling me he's fine at school so must be something i am doing and they are not sure of his diagnosis (despite having a statement at 2) but then when the annual review comes round they say they have broken the budget as he has been needing extra support to deal with his anxiety !?! Whenever i feel like i need to find extra support someone convinces me he's fine and it's all in my head - does anyone else experience this from teachers or well meaning friends and family? We've got to a point now where i can't cope with his outbursts and moodswings. He physically attacks us when he doesn't get his own way and is always screaming and running off. I just need to feel that i am not alone or a bad mother.  I could rabbit on for ages but don't want to scare you all off.

 

I hope there is someone who recognises themselves in this and can help me before i lose my mind.  I didn't realise how down this is getting me until today when i realised just how hard i work to appease him.  I love him dearly and wouldn't swap him for the world but its so hard sometimes. My youngest daughter is only 17 months younger than him and is exactly the same - almost worse - but i can't get help as the school refuse to accept there is anything wrong (despite being on school action plus!!)

Anyway would love to speak to other parents if i haven't sent you all running. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Amanda xx

 

Parents

  • Hi Amanda,

    Im very new to this site but not new to the challanges you face. My eldest is 16 and had AS and Dyspraxia and hypotonia. I have four children the youngest is 11 and he is hyperactive and has some signs of also having very low levels of AS too.

    I still have people telling me he is ok for them and so what if he isnt quite like other people. I also have other people flatly refusing to have anything to do with him. The teachers always say everything is ok then dump problems on you when you least expect it. Dont know if it helps but everything you are saying and feeling is normal in our world.

    We still have bad days but we also have good days, My son getting his exam results and making it into college was an excellent day, i know his first day at college will be a bad one with massive meltdowns due to how different and socialy challenging it will be, but i also know that we will get through them and that there will be more good days for him.

    I do see myself in you 10 years ago so hear is where I am now. I  know that I am a good mum and I know that no one else understands and reads my son as well as i can because i am his mum and i also wouldnt change this , you will find this too. It no longer worries me what other people think about him and how he behaves, Ive learnt to talk to the people who do listen and understand, and to nod and smile at thoese who dont. I still get angry, I still cry, I still make mistakes and get loads of things wrong but Im still just his mum doing my best.

    From reading your post you have done everything for your little boy and are getting the help and support for him that he needs, hopefully you will get the support you need from this site. I think you are doing a great job, cry and scream if you need to but remember to laugh and congratulate yourself too you are doing one of the hardest jobs in the world, being a mum.

    Hope this helps in some small way

    Sam

     

Reply

  • Hi Amanda,

    Im very new to this site but not new to the challanges you face. My eldest is 16 and had AS and Dyspraxia and hypotonia. I have four children the youngest is 11 and he is hyperactive and has some signs of also having very low levels of AS too.

    I still have people telling me he is ok for them and so what if he isnt quite like other people. I also have other people flatly refusing to have anything to do with him. The teachers always say everything is ok then dump problems on you when you least expect it. Dont know if it helps but everything you are saying and feeling is normal in our world.

    We still have bad days but we also have good days, My son getting his exam results and making it into college was an excellent day, i know his first day at college will be a bad one with massive meltdowns due to how different and socialy challenging it will be, but i also know that we will get through them and that there will be more good days for him.

    I do see myself in you 10 years ago so hear is where I am now. I  know that I am a good mum and I know that no one else understands and reads my son as well as i can because i am his mum and i also wouldnt change this , you will find this too. It no longer worries me what other people think about him and how he behaves, Ive learnt to talk to the people who do listen and understand, and to nod and smile at thoese who dont. I still get angry, I still cry, I still make mistakes and get loads of things wrong but Im still just his mum doing my best.

    From reading your post you have done everything for your little boy and are getting the help and support for him that he needs, hopefully you will get the support you need from this site. I think you are doing a great job, cry and scream if you need to but remember to laugh and congratulate yourself too you are doing one of the hardest jobs in the world, being a mum.

    Hope this helps in some small way

    Sam

     

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