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does your asd socialise at school?

Hotel california

I would really be interested to know if children who have asd together with high levels of sensory issues benefit  being in school.

My youngest is stressed / anxious  most of the time, usually because of having to socialize with children he has no interest in and who go out of their way to make his life hell, yet I'm constantly told by school that taking him  out of school will turn him into a hermit and he will not be able to function in society.

What do others think?

Ps.  He does go to clubs and social events mixing with all ages.

  • Hi, I am also thinking about taking my son out of school (he attends mainstream secondary) as they are failing to support him and although they say he is doing well academically at a recent parents evening every single teacher said he does not focus and is easily distracted, the class he is in is very disruptive and the teachers are so busy sorting out the disruption that my son is left to his own devices which in most cases he fails to complete the work that is asked of him and spends most of his lunch break catching up, which he likes as he gets the whole teachers attention for that time, but this then impacts on him "trying" to socialise. At home he does not like to socialise and very much likes his own company and trying to go out as a family has huge anxiety issues for my son and results in huge meltdowns which impacts on the day and his mood. I worry constantly about his future when i think about how much time he spends on his own and i blame myself for allowing him to do this just for "a quiet life". My son is also urine incontinent during the day which has allowed for bullying and cruel comments which does not help when he does on the odd occassion try to "socialise".

  • Like Hope, I don't believe mainstream is the right setting for ASD children and trying to include them just amplifies the anxiety.

    My own daughter couldn't cope with the huge numbers of children so stopped going.  The meltdowns stopped instantly.  While she was at school, she found it difficult to form relationships because very few children are understanding enough make good friends and they don't understand that crowds and noise can make the anxiety worse.  My daughter has relationships with adults that care about her.  I'm happy with that.  

    If your son is going to social groups outside of school, he's doing well imo.

  • A difficult one. Mainstream school is not always ideal for ASD kids, although this depends on the individual. School was not always a bad experience for me, particularly in my final year of primary school when I had finally started to settle in (!), but school also undoubtably contributed to my anxiety and self-esteem issues. My self-esteem has improved, but I still have severe anxiety. School did not provide the right support, particularly at secondary school. I am only now starting to understand who I am, and working out that I am not stupid or slow; that I just have a different learning style.

    You need to find the right school environment for your son, perhaps an ASD base at a mainstream school? Special school can also have a downside, particularly if your son is academically able.