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Big change coming

Mumof4_81

Good morning. New to the forum :)

Mum of 4, 2 are on the spectrum and I have found myself navigating a move I didnt expect to be happening so soon. My 4yr old son had been on the neurodevelpmental pathway awaiting assessment since Oct 2023. He's non verbal and has been at his mainstream school since Sept 2022 when he started in what they called Nursery 2s. A few weeks after he started some concerns were raised about his speech delay and he was referred to SLT. From this it almost created a domino effect as it were to barriers I hadn't even seen.

My son, from that initial SLT assessment got referred to the pathway. Nursery 3s were brilliant. They got an iep in place, put so many steps in place to ensure his safety, dedicated TAs and really went the extra mile. At the end of Nursery 3s we had started the ehcp process. All went well. Final ehcp was issued in March of this year. I had named the most amazing special school yet the LA named his mainstream so I started the appeal process. 

The deadline for the Las first response to the Send Tribunal was the day after schools broke up for the summer. CONCEDED IN FULL. They named the longed for special school. I was in tears. Then came an email from the case coordinator saying she had copied in the Send transport department to assist my transport application. Literally 30 mins later approx, confirmation from transport that it had been granted from his start date to the end of the academic year of 2036 with a P. A till the end of Y3. More tears. 

The final appeal date wasn't till April 2026 so I had mentally prepared for a long fight. Never did I expect a resolution so quickly and a start date to be so soon. 

I have had a long history with this mainstream school. My daughter finished her primary life here and my teenage son did a Yr of nursery 2s, nearly 2yrs in the nursery and all of primary here so the emotional attachment is strong. I know on my sons final day at his mainstream there will again be tears. Worry for my son. He has no understanding and has always enjoyed his time at his school but I know in my heart, that they can only do so much and this new school is much more suited to his needs long term. 

I guess Im still just feeling overwhelmed but at the same time, so excited for what's to come for my little boy. 

He's going to thrive, not just survive. 

Parents

  • With all that has been going on - it is really understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed.  Hopefully now; for positives reasons too.

    You may have seen before these articles about school transitions (start / change schools), however, the "start early" guidance on preparing everyone (now and next / now and then) for the move to a new school hit home to me.

    As a child I changed schools a lot more than my cousins etc.  Sometimes I experienced that my parents were not able to give me enough warning about leaving my old school and moving to s new school.

    When there had been schools / teachers / fellow students which I had enjoyed - I didn't always have sufficient opportunity to say goodbye (on my terms).  School environments form part of our personal history - sometimes I would have been glad of a memento photo of the classroom interior or somewhere in the grounds where I had felt comfortable at break times.

    Although I didn't have many friends and wasn't a fan of birthday parties etc., even so, there was often at least one person, per school, where I would have welcomed the chance to maintain some contact - even if only sending each other a Christmas Card.  One such acquaintance maintained that Christmas Card exchange with me across 36 years!

    When it came to the prospect of a new school; often my parents would emphasise things like what the uniform would be like, what the lunch arrangements would involve and whether I had thr correct things in my pencil case.  I felt those were more "their" considerations and priorities.

    Nobody ever talked with me about my new school stressors / preparation comfort zones. 

    "My" pragmatic questions and worries were more like: what would the new school building look like, on a simple map - where is the new school compared to home, would I travel there on my own or with someone I knew, what did key members of staff look like and could I learn their names in bitesize progress before school started, would there be a student who could be my buddy while I was new, would learning everything be in one classroom or would I need to learn the school building layout and move between the buildings on different days, during lunchtime (noisy environment) would I be allowed to sat on a table at the edge of the lunch hall, assembly - must I really sit crossed legged - it is so painful for me - why can't I just sit how I can without the pain, will the other children playing at break time be my age or will there also be lots of much older students there in the playground too, would I be able to visit the new school when the other children were not there - to be able to have a bit of an explore and orientation (without so much competing input from everyone's hubbub).

    Each child will have their own personal worry list - maybe, in plenty of good time, the trusted adults in their lives could ask them about them and then work with them on those concerns - a topic at a time.

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/transitions

Reply

  • With all that has been going on - it is really understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed.  Hopefully now; for positives reasons too.

    You may have seen before these articles about school transitions (start / change schools), however, the "start early" guidance on preparing everyone (now and next / now and then) for the move to a new school hit home to me.

    As a child I changed schools a lot more than my cousins etc.  Sometimes I experienced that my parents were not able to give me enough warning about leaving my old school and moving to s new school.

    When there had been schools / teachers / fellow students which I had enjoyed - I didn't always have sufficient opportunity to say goodbye (on my terms).  School environments form part of our personal history - sometimes I would have been glad of a memento photo of the classroom interior or somewhere in the grounds where I had felt comfortable at break times.

    Although I didn't have many friends and wasn't a fan of birthday parties etc., even so, there was often at least one person, per school, where I would have welcomed the chance to maintain some contact - even if only sending each other a Christmas Card.  One such acquaintance maintained that Christmas Card exchange with me across 36 years!

    When it came to the prospect of a new school; often my parents would emphasise things like what the uniform would be like, what the lunch arrangements would involve and whether I had thr correct things in my pencil case.  I felt those were more "their" considerations and priorities.

    Nobody ever talked with me about my new school stressors / preparation comfort zones. 

    "My" pragmatic questions and worries were more like: what would the new school building look like, on a simple map - where is the new school compared to home, would I travel there on my own or with someone I knew, what did key members of staff look like and could I learn their names in bitesize progress before school started, would there be a student who could be my buddy while I was new, would learning everything be in one classroom or would I need to learn the school building layout and move between the buildings on different days, during lunchtime (noisy environment) would I be allowed to sat on a table at the edge of the lunch hall, assembly - must I really sit crossed legged - it is so painful for me - why can't I just sit how I can without the pain, will the other children playing at break time be my age or will there also be lots of much older students there in the playground too, would I be able to visit the new school when the other children were not there - to be able to have a bit of an explore and orientation (without so much competing input from everyone's hubbub).

    Each child will have their own personal worry list - maybe, in plenty of good time, the trusted adults in their lives could ask them about them and then work with them on those concerns - a topic at a time.

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/transitions

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