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Parent of undiagnosed 29 year old

Ruby0Loo27

Hi everyone.  I thought that I'd finally reach out to others about my daughter who underwent assessment a couple of years ago (in lockdown, so it was done over the phone). Despite having had a strong suspicion for many years that she was neurodiverse, the assessment came back negative. The assessor asked me about what traits she had as a child and I couldn't initially think of any strong indicators (I can now say that there were several).

I have researched thoroughly every article I can find about adult girls and autism and she ticks just about every box and she also agrees that she can identify with much of what she reads.  As a parent, it leaves me heartbroken to see her struggle with anxiety and loneliness.  I am at my wits end to know how to help her.  Is there anyone out there who relates or who can point me in the right direction?

Parents

  • Hello there RubyOLoo! Okay a few things:

    1. There is nothing wrong with self-diagnosis. If your daughter feels that she is in fact Autistic regardless of what the doctor said, then that is enough to be Autistic. She might not be able to get accommodations at work or whatnot, but there’s nothing stopping her from claiming it as her own identity.

    2. It might be a good idea to get a second opinion. Especially now that you both know how the assessment process goes down, you could go in much more prepared. Ex. Bring a paper listing some of the traits she expressed as a child, instead of trying to remember it.

    3. Your daughter can join this forum! There’s a lot of people on here that self-identify because either they were misdiagnosed or they don’t wish to pursue an official diagnosis. 

    I hope that helps!

Reply

  • Hello there RubyOLoo! Okay a few things:

    1. There is nothing wrong with self-diagnosis. If your daughter feels that she is in fact Autistic regardless of what the doctor said, then that is enough to be Autistic. She might not be able to get accommodations at work or whatnot, but there’s nothing stopping her from claiming it as her own identity.

    2. It might be a good idea to get a second opinion. Especially now that you both know how the assessment process goes down, you could go in much more prepared. Ex. Bring a paper listing some of the traits she expressed as a child, instead of trying to remember it.

    3. Your daughter can join this forum! There’s a lot of people on here that self-identify because either they were misdiagnosed or they don’t wish to pursue an official diagnosis. 

    I hope that helps!

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