Newly diagnosed Asperger

Top tips for an aged 5 son:

- visit lots of different libraries in your area and find which one seems to have people working there who support him exploring his passions rather than obsessing about his physical age as a child (both parent and child should be active library members so he associates it with a lifelong activity, many libraries hold free events so sign up for their email newsletter too).  Libraries are sometimes a bit brightly lit so baseball hats or bucket hats might be a good part of both your routines for "adventure to the library" (I have inexpensive ones from eBay - with Sunflowers on them - to help the Library Team know I might appreciate a bit of patience and understanding ...particularly when I have more questions than some people as I can find the self-service robots frustrating if they are not working correctly).

- include a big set of book shelves in their bedroom (charity shops like the Salvation Army are often a good source https://www.salvationarmy.org.uk/charity-shops).

- include display shelves for "my current interesting things" in their bedroom (maybe look for pre-owned ones via eBay made by IKEA such as the Kallax range which have large square spaces https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_nkw=ikea+kallax).

- reasonably priced but good: stationery / art supplies / craft supplies / boardgames / books / fidget toys (I find that "The Works" shop is your friendly source of all these things - sometimes they are in shopping streets / malls but other ones might be found in garden centres https://www.theworks.co.uk/stores?showMap=true&horizontalView=true&isForm=true ).

- contact the education officer at museums, art galleries, zoos and other attractions - to find out about quieter days / hours of the day / Autism-friendly events,  It is also a good sign if they tell you their staff are trained to be aware of the Sunflower Hidden Disabilities scheme (https://hdsunflower.com/uk/ ).

- your son can join the waiting list ready for joining your local Beavers (Scouts aged 6 to 8 years) https://www.scouts.org.uk/beavers/ ).

- outdoor physical activities which don't mean large crowds of noisy people are good. Try: picnics, parks, walks where you can see wildlife and water, swimming in an outdoor pool, riding bicycles, fishing, tethered ball games like swing ball, trampoline, skipping rope, gardening.

- extra curricular activities should be fun with a sense of achievement and self-worth.  Perhaps where you learn how to do something you are less likely to grow out of e.g. learn to play a musical instrument.

- although it is good to have the chance to play with other children - some extra planning might be a good idea when it preparing to attend Birthday Parties and large family gatherings.  Your son might like those events which have included a quieter area where people can take a break from all the excitement and relax, have a drink of water, cuddle a weighted soft toy etc. and take a few moments to recharge his "social battery" to counteract dysregulation from overstimulation.  As a family, you might offer to bring a folding deckchair each - then it is easy to set up a quieter refuge at any event - on the periphery of the main more frenetic hubbub.  (I still do this as an adult - pick a shady spot, open my deckchair, or folding sit mat and just have a break with a drink - where I can enjoy seeing the hubbub but not constantly be engulfed in all the maelstrom.

- Autistic children often don't only enjoy company of their own age or generation.  This means at family events they might be glad of joining in with games the retired people would know and enjoy too.  My parents taught 5 year old me some of the boardgames, card games and quizzes which were portable and would give me connection opportunities with that older generation too.  There are some games which need less equipment / discussion / hearing / vision - which might suit everyone better e.g. Nine Men's Morris is for 2 players who are aged 5+ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_men%27s_morris )

- I am all in favour, at any age, of a good rucksack / backpack as your personal travelling sensory comfort zone, entertainment space, snack station, mobile desk and interests tote.

- one set of my Grandparents used to have a wooden toy chest style box at their house - with me in mind.  It didn't look like a toy box and it was never called that either.  What suited me about those Grandparents is they did not seek to entertain "the child" but placed importance on including me in whatever practical things happened to be going on (cooking, sewing, gardening, fixing the car, maintaining a bicycle etc.) and supporting and expanding my range of interests.  They were both advocates of learning how to teach yourself new skills and knowledge (either solo or in partnership).  The toy chest was referred to as "our interesting box".  It was a shared space where child or adult could place something potentially interesting to discover either on their own or together - when the mood and curiosity struck us so.  Via the box, I might lend them a fossil or a post card, they might lend me an item suitable for dressing up games or a packet of quick growing seeds or a small woodworking tool.  Sometimes we might use "the box" when it was raining or we were a bit low energy ...as we had just weathered another relative having dropped in (unexpectedly) for tea and they chatted us into exhaustion.  The box was a device used to share passions and curiosities - on our Autistic-friendly terms.  With me likely happily sat on the carpet under the dining table with their dog keeping me company.  Batteries suitably recharged, one Grandparent might then show me a gardening article they were reading with nice photos in it, or the other one might show me a knitting pattern or recipe they liked the look of - then onwards to our next more physical adventures again - exploring / making / mending / exchanging knowledge - whatever happened to be the topic of the day.

Top tips for an aged 5 son:

- visit lots of different libraries in your area and find which one seems to have people working there who support him exploring his passions rather than obsessing about his physical age as a child (both parent and child should be active library members so he associates it with a lifelong activity, many libraries hold free events so sign up for their email newsletter too).  Libraries are sometimes a bit brightly lit so baseball hats or bucket hats might be a good part of both your routines for "adventure to the library" (I have inexpensive ones from eBay - with Sunflowers on them - to help the Library Team know I might appreciate a bit of patience and understanding ...particularly when I have more questions than some people as I can find the self-service robots frustrating if they are not working correctly).

- include a big set of book shelves in their bedroom (charity shops like the Salvation Army are often a good source https://www.salvationarmy.org.uk/charity-shops).

- include display shelves for "my current interesting things" in their bedroom (maybe look for pre-owned ones via eBay made by IKEA such as the Kallax range which have large square spaces https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_nkw=ikea+kallax).

- reasonably priced but good: stationery / art supplies / craft supplies / boardgames / books / fidget toys (I find that "The Works" shop is your friendly source of all these things - sometimes they are in shopping streets / malls but other ones might be found in garden centres https://www.theworks.co.uk/stores?showMap=true&horizontalView=true&isForm=true ).

- contact the education officer at museums, art galleries, zoos and other attractions - to find out about quieter days / hours of the day / Autism-friendly events,  It is also a good sign if they tell you their staff are trained to be aware of the Sunflower Hidden Disabilities scheme (https://hdsunflower.com/uk/ ).

- your son can join the waiting list ready for joining your local Beavers (Scouts aged 6 to 8 years) https://www.scouts.org.uk/beavers/ ).

- outdoor physical activities which don't mean large crowds of noisy people are good. Try: picnics, parks, walks where you can see wildlife and water, swimming in an outdoor pool, riding bicycles, fishing, tethered ball games like swing ball, trampoline, skipping rope, gardening.

- extra curricular activities should be fun with a sense of achievement and self-worth.  Perhaps where you learn how to do something you are less likely to grow out of e.g. learn to play a musical instrument.

- although it is good to have the chance to play with other children - some extra planning might be a good idea when it preparing to attend Birthday Parties and large family gatherings.  Your son might like those events which have included a quieter area where people can take a break from all the excitement and relax, have a drink of water, cuddle a weighted soft toy etc. and take a few moments to recharge his "social battery" to counteract dysregulation from overstimulation.  As a family, you might offer to bring a folding deckchair each - then it is easy to set up a quieter refuge at any event - on the periphery of the main more frenetic hubbub.  (I still do this as an adult - pick a shady spot, open my deckchair, or folding sit mat and just have a break with a drink - where I can enjoy seeing the hubbub but not constantly be engulfed in all the maelstrom.

- Autistic children often don't only enjoy company of their own age or generation.  This means at family events they might be glad of joining in with games the retired people would know and enjoy too.  My parents taught 5 year old me some of the boardgames, card games and quizzes which were portable and would give me connection opportunities with that older generation too.  There are some games which need less equipment / discussion / hearing / vision - which might suit everyone better e.g. Nine Men's Morris is for 2 players who are aged 5+ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_men%27s_morris )

- I am all in favour, at any age, of a good rucksack / backpack as your personal travelling sensory comfort zone, entertainment space, snack station, mobile desk and interests tote.

- one set of my Grandparents used to have a wooden toy chest style box at their house - with me in mind.  It didn't look like a toy box and it was never called that either.  What suited me about those Grandparents is they did not seek to entertain "the child" but placed importance on including me in whatever practical things happened to be going on (cooking, sewing, gardening, fixing the car, maintaining a bicycle etc.) and supporting and expanding my range of interests.  They were both advocates of learning how to teach yourself new skills and knowledge (either solo or in partnership).  The toy chest was referred to as "our interesting box".  It was a shared space where child or adult could place something potentially interesting to discover either on their own or together - when the mood and curiosity struck us so.  Via the box, I might lend them a fossil or a post card, they might lend me an item suitable for dressing up games or a packet of quick growing seeds or a small woodworking tool.  Sometimes we might use "the box" when it was raining or we were a bit low energy ...as we had just weathered another relative having dropped in (unexpectedly) for tea and they chatted us into exhaustion.  The box was a device used to share passions and curiosities - on our Autistic-friendly terms.  With me likely happily sat on the carpet under the dining table with their dog keeping me company.  Batteries suitably recharged, one Grandparent might then show me a gardening article they were reading with nice photos in it, or the other one might show me a knitting pattern or recipe they liked the look of - then onwards to our next more physical adventures again - exploring / making / mending / exchanging knowledge - whatever happened to be the topic of the day.