16 year old rejects autism diagnosis

Hi and welcome to the community.

I'm sorry to hear of your family's struggles.

Listener2010 said:

She is really very angry about the diagnosis and feels as though her life is over.

At whatever age a diagnosis comes, it can be common, afterwards, for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about now having an explanation for our differences, this can include experiencing negative feelings including upset, confusion, uncertainty, anger, and more.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering this aspect, which you might find helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes examples of some children's reactions.

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

As she processes her diagnosis, she might also find the NAS's resources for teenagers helpful. They're designed "to support autistic teenagers in understanding what being autistic means to them":

NAS - Resources for autistic teenagers - Know Yourself series

Although it might not currently be of much comfort to her, speaking as a late-diagnosed person, I would have strongly preferred to have been diagnosed at a much earlier age. That being said, there is much greater awareness and support for younger people now than there was then - and she can benefit from that in various ways (such as accessing various forms of extra help if she remains in education).

Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for a GP to arrange. It's widely recognised that standard forms of CBT (as just one example of the potential options) might need to be adapted to reflect any given autistic client's particular, individual differences. Using a therapist or counsellor who is experienced in helping autistic clients could also be preferable. As your daughter is already under CAMHS, it could be worth discussing this with them (perhaps including in respect of her eating issues).

You might also find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which is written from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Listener2010 said:

my son is 5 years into a wait for adhd assesment

If you live in England, then you might like to ask your GP about re-referring your son using the Right to Choose pathway (RTC), which you are entitled to use instead if you wish.

In England (only), this enables access to certain, approved, private autism and ADHD assessment providers who typically have much shorter waiting lists than the NHS, but with the referral and assessment still fully funded by the NHS. 

I was on an NHS waiting list for two years before I learned about RTC and switched to it (on the recommendation of an NHS psychiatrist). My assessment and diagnosis then followed around just four months later.

More information about RTC is included here:

ADHD UK - Diagnosis pathways for ADHD in Children

Hi and welcome to the community.

I'm sorry to hear of your family's struggles.

Listener2010 said:

She is really very angry about the diagnosis and feels as though her life is over.

At whatever age a diagnosis comes, it can be common, afterwards, for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about now having an explanation for our differences, this can include experiencing negative feelings including upset, confusion, uncertainty, anger, and more.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering this aspect, which you might find helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes examples of some children's reactions.

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

As she processes her diagnosis, she might also find the NAS's resources for teenagers helpful. They're designed "to support autistic teenagers in understanding what being autistic means to them":

NAS - Resources for autistic teenagers - Know Yourself series

Although it might not currently be of much comfort to her, speaking as a late-diagnosed person, I would have strongly preferred to have been diagnosed at a much earlier age. That being said, there is much greater awareness and support for younger people now than there was then - and she can benefit from that in various ways (such as accessing various forms of extra help if she remains in education).

Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for a GP to arrange. It's widely recognised that standard forms of CBT (as just one example of the potential options) might need to be adapted to reflect any given autistic client's particular, individual differences. Using a therapist or counsellor who is experienced in helping autistic clients could also be preferable. As your daughter is already under CAMHS, it could be worth discussing this with them (perhaps including in respect of her eating issues).

You might also find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which is written from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Listener2010 said:

my son is 5 years into a wait for adhd assesment

If you live in England, then you might like to ask your GP about re-referring your son using the Right to Choose pathway (RTC), which you are entitled to use instead if you wish.

In England (only), this enables access to certain, approved, private autism and ADHD assessment providers who typically have much shorter waiting lists than the NHS, but with the referral and assessment still fully funded by the NHS. 

I was on an NHS waiting list for two years before I learned about RTC and switched to it (on the recommendation of an NHS psychiatrist). My assessment and diagnosis then followed around just four months later.

More information about RTC is included here:

ADHD UK - Diagnosis pathways for ADHD in Children

Thank you, this is extremely comprehensive and so helpful. I will take a look through everything and introduce her to some of it if appropriate and when she is ready. Thank you