Can anyone suggest coping mechanism for me. My son is 19, diagnosed with aspbergers at 18.
he makes hurtful comments and when i tell him the comments have hurt me he says he doesnt care. He can get very angry and at times he scares me.
i am struggling with coping with his behaviour. I just cant get through to him. I feel unloved, isolated and alone. At times i just want to run away.
Any advice on how i can cope with his behaviour would be gratefully received.
Hi Austin7,
I'm only 17 (younger than your son) and no psychologist, but as human beings, sometimes when we're hurting, we lash out. It doesn't make us bad people. Being on the spectrum can be very, very, very painful. Sometimes, lashing out can even be a way of pushing a loved one's limits because we're insecure; we want to be absolutely certain that they won't desert us. Maybe that's what your son is doing when he says these hurtful things? Of course that doesn't make it okay, but as a young Aspie, I'd advise that you allow those around you to support you and keep reminding him how much you love him, whilst reminding him that you can't get away with being cruel to people, even if they are family.
The other answers have been much more technical than mine and I've hardly got oodles of life experience; I'm sorry! I just really hope that things get easier soon.
The bottom line is, I never want to cause my family lasting pain when I lash out verbally, and I'm always very sorry after I do it. There's no excuse, I know that, but sometimes it just hurts so much. Your son probably feels similar to me (though, of course, no two people are alike). I'm sure he doesn't want to cause you pain either.
Take care,
LivAgain 
Hi Austin7,
I'm only 17 (younger than your son) and no psychologist, but as human beings, sometimes when we're hurting, we lash out. It doesn't make us bad people. Being on the spectrum can be very, very, very painful. Sometimes, lashing out can even be a way of pushing a loved one's limits because we're insecure; we want to be absolutely certain that they won't desert us. Maybe that's what your son is doing when he says these hurtful things? Of course that doesn't make it okay, but as a young Aspie, I'd advise that you allow those around you to support you and keep reminding him how much you love him, whilst reminding him that you can't get away with being cruel to people, even if they are family.
The other answers have been much more technical than mine and I've hardly got oodles of life experience; I'm sorry! I just really hope that things get easier soon.
The bottom line is, I never want to cause my family lasting pain when I lash out verbally, and I'm always very sorry after I do it. There's no excuse, I know that, but sometimes it just hurts so much. Your son probably feels similar to me (though, of course, no two people are alike). I'm sure he doesn't want to cause you pain either.
Take care,
LivAgain
