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Going to tell my 7 year old he is autistic

SarahB15

Hi there,

I am in a tough spot and would love some advice from other parents who have had this chat. Since my son started grade one, everything has changed for him.. as I believe the expectations are higher but also, so abnormal to how he functions. Sitting in a desk all day listening to a lecture or the buzzing loud noise of 20+ kids is getting too much. I recently had surgery and his seperation anxiety has spiked.. he cries every morning at drop off and it breaking my heart. Recently kids teased him saying he was dumb for how he writes..

So here I am, debating on telling him about his autism and exactly what to say. My son is extremely high functioning so I think he will be understanding, but he suffers from low confidence despite our best efforts. I really do believe it is his super power, he is so bright, funny and gifted.. he wouldn't be him, if he wasn't autistic ! And I absolutely adore him, everyone who meets him does.. 

To end my long speech (thanks for reading) how did you tell your child? How was it received ? Or really anything ? I don't even know where to begin.

Thanks <3

Parents

  • Are you sure he has autism? If you just suspect it, it may do more harm than good to suggest it. You may want to see someone first to be sure if he is struggling.

    If you know, then it is a question of whether it will help him to know. Being told you are different when you don't think you are and don't want to be different may reduce his confidence. Does he need help at the moment?

    It he suspects he is different then maybe it would help to raise it in a positive way.

    Even if you tell him, what do you think it will change?

    I don't know what the right answer is.

    I suppose if you have to know it might be easier if you know earlier, but I'm not sure.

Reply

  • Are you sure he has autism? If you just suspect it, it may do more harm than good to suggest it. You may want to see someone first to be sure if he is struggling.

    If you know, then it is a question of whether it will help him to know. Being told you are different when you don't think you are and don't want to be different may reduce his confidence. Does he need help at the moment?

    It he suspects he is different then maybe it would help to raise it in a positive way.

    Even if you tell him, what do you think it will change?

    I don't know what the right answer is.

    I suppose if you have to know it might be easier if you know earlier, but I'm not sure.

Children
  • in reply to Stuart333

    Thanks for your thoughts :) and yes, he has a confirmed diagnosis of asd and adhd. We used to do speech therapy and occupational therapy comes to his school to help him with writing for his fine motor skills. We talk about asd infront of him but he has never really put it together. I thought it might be helpful to tell him, as he mentions some of the reasons he doesn't like school is because of how loud it is, how writing is hard, how boring he finds it (as it doesn't pertain to his special interests etc. I thought maybe if he knew that he was neurodivergent it might explain why he feels this way? I think at this age he is noticing some differences between himself and his peers. I've seen people write about how it made them feel seen to know their diagnosis.