• Replies 10 replies
  • Subscribers 70 subscribers
  • Views 1094 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Hi, new diagnosis question

Redberry1

Hi all, new to the forum, our son was given his diagnosis yesterday, awaiting the full report was just given verbally. I feel fortunate as I have worked within autistic services in the past and husband works within one currently, but when it's your own child everything is different.

What are peoples top tips? If you were back at the new diagnosis stage, what would you do differently, what do you wish you had been pointed toward?

Our son is almost 8, just teacher and speech therapist are fab, less impressed with the schools senco who left our request for assessment in her emails for 7 months before passing it over to be done, he is fully accepting of the diagnosis, has noticed recently he is abit different to his friends and that he needs abit more reassurance than them when things are changing. I've looked at some parenting courses, but they seem to be mainly aimed at parents who can do courses in the day time, so any pointers to other courses?

Thanks in advance.

Parents

  • Hey! Good to meet another newbie. I'm autistic and the parent of an auDHDer (autism and ADHD). In terms of courses, I really wish someone had said to me back when my daughter was at school 'she is the best course you could ever take'. I also wish someone had said to me that many people with 

    I really believe that asking our kids about what is difficult / what seems different / what they feel like they have to hide / what helps them to feel calm is more productive than a generic course on autism...because the cluster of pronounced differences changes from person to person. All autism, but each unique.

    Sounds like you have a decent relationship with him so help him create a 'map' of what his autistic experience is. If you want to give it structure, divide it between executive functioning stuff and sensory stuff (I'll let you do the research on that). 

    Something you might bump into is the possibility that you, or his dad, or both of you, might be neurodiverse. A massive trigger for late diagnosis is our kids going through that process...and the penny drops. So be prepared! 

    Regards being newly diagnosed, it confused me and it definitely confused my daughter. You get the name on a document and possibly a conversation about what the DSM/ICD says autism is aaaaaand then your on your own. So my only suggestion is patient curiousity with your boy. A diagnosis is not an answer, it's a statement of how a neurotypical world categorises him

  • in reply to Somewhat damaged..

    Thank you, yes you're right I know, he will guide us, currently he has a good routine at jome and at school, which is sadly thrown to pieces whenever his teacher is off, and we are already dreading next year!  We've been working with him to get him to use his old widgets to leave us messages when he is over loaded, that way he can let us know what emotion it is and what he needs, normally to hide under his blanket, but then we can help him by leaving him.

    We told him this morning, he asked tp see a symptoms list, read through it and said oh I have 8 bits of autism then walked off to watch you tube videos about his lego obsession Rofl

    As for the family, I would say 6 out of 7 of us atr neurodiverse, my husband appears to be the only one of us who wouldn't tick enough boxes! 

    We have told him all this means is that he sees things differently to some others and that's cool, but now we know we can make sure that all the good things that help him, his current teacher has put in lots to help him, will have to be kept going rather than starting next year back at basics.

Reply
  • in reply to Somewhat damaged..

    Thank you, yes you're right I know, he will guide us, currently he has a good routine at jome and at school, which is sadly thrown to pieces whenever his teacher is off, and we are already dreading next year!  We've been working with him to get him to use his old widgets to leave us messages when he is over loaded, that way he can let us know what emotion it is and what he needs, normally to hide under his blanket, but then we can help him by leaving him.

    We told him this morning, he asked tp see a symptoms list, read through it and said oh I have 8 bits of autism then walked off to watch you tube videos about his lego obsession Rofl

    As for the family, I would say 6 out of 7 of us atr neurodiverse, my husband appears to be the only one of us who wouldn't tick enough boxes! 

    We have told him all this means is that he sees things differently to some others and that's cool, but now we know we can make sure that all the good things that help him, his current teacher has put in lots to help him, will have to be kept going rather than starting next year back at basics.

Children
  • in reply to Somewhat damaged..

    Oh I am not brave enough to suggest to him that his brain is like lego, unless it is ninjago lego, seriously youngest of 5 who have all loved starwars and lego city, but will he touch any lego brick that's not ninjago, of course not. 

    But that is a fab analogy using the bricks.

  • in reply to Redberry1

    Lego is bloody amazing. It's also helpful because it's about construction, and our brains are constructed differently.

    You could use this analogy: a neurotypical brain has Lego blocks constructed with particular blocks that result in a particular shape.

    An autistic brain has Lego blocks constructed differently.

    It's no one's fault and can't be changed by trying harder, the blocks are the blocks and they make a wonderful brain, but it gets overloaded when neurotypical Lego tries to make it be like them.

    Does he have an affinity for colours? If so, Lego colours for neurotypical and Lego colours for his experience might be useful.