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School advised daughter likely autistic but should not get her tested

Swimswim

Hi,

I'm hoping to hear other people's advice and personal experiences please. My daughter is 7 and is showing more and more autistic traits. She struggles socially at school,  preferring to spend time on her own. She cannot cope with changes in routine, and it results in massive meltdowns if there are the the tiniest changes. There's more, but I'll keep the post brief.

At a school SENCO meeting about her sibling the SENCO mentioned that my daughter could be Autistic, but advised that getting a diagnosis may be harmful for her. She is incredibly intelligent, working at roughly the level of an 8-9 year old despite only bring 7, and the school SENCO was concerned that a diagnosis would only hold her back in the future if she were to face stigma because of it. She explained that my daughter clearly does not need any academic support due to her autism, and she did not feel that she would get any benefit from a diagnosis with her emotional and social needs.

I would love to hear other people's advice and experiences please, as parents or people with Autism. Thank you

Parents

  • I am a little surprised with this, but of course I don't know every side to this story. I can tell you about my daughter though. In primary school, she was diagnosed so that for her last year of primary school the SENCO were aware. She was also academically gifted, so no worries about her ability and she was (and still is) rated higher than average in nearly all subjects. However, it took her a lot of energy to get through every day because she was masking all the time - the teachers noticed nothing because she was that good at hiding it.

    Me and her mother felt though that, if she were diagnosed and she did end up requiring additional support, getting prepared before her transition to secondary school would be the best time. As a result, she wasn't treated like a neurotypical person lost in the crowd, she was well prepared for secondary education - for example, she didn't have one transition day like everyone else, she had several, one a month up till her summer term, so she got to understand the subjects a bit more, understand the layout of the new school, meet some of her new teachers, and so on. We recently had her parent's evening. All teachers said she was doing great in all her subjects (not surprised), but they also took the opportunity to ask if they could do anything to help her more - so in a couple of lessons she's now sitting with some of her closer friends which helps her feel more comfortable.

    And that's the difference - instead of thinking this might hold her back, it might actually be far more positive, which is why what you said about your SENCO is really surprising to me. It could also be we got very lucky with our daughter's support, I can't say. Ultimately it falls to you as the parent to make the decision though, you know your own child better than anyone and I'm sure your instincts will guide you.

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  • I am a little surprised with this, but of course I don't know every side to this story. I can tell you about my daughter though. In primary school, she was diagnosed so that for her last year of primary school the SENCO were aware. She was also academically gifted, so no worries about her ability and she was (and still is) rated higher than average in nearly all subjects. However, it took her a lot of energy to get through every day because she was masking all the time - the teachers noticed nothing because she was that good at hiding it.

    Me and her mother felt though that, if she were diagnosed and she did end up requiring additional support, getting prepared before her transition to secondary school would be the best time. As a result, she wasn't treated like a neurotypical person lost in the crowd, she was well prepared for secondary education - for example, she didn't have one transition day like everyone else, she had several, one a month up till her summer term, so she got to understand the subjects a bit more, understand the layout of the new school, meet some of her new teachers, and so on. We recently had her parent's evening. All teachers said she was doing great in all her subjects (not surprised), but they also took the opportunity to ask if they could do anything to help her more - so in a couple of lessons she's now sitting with some of her closer friends which helps her feel more comfortable.

    And that's the difference - instead of thinking this might hold her back, it might actually be far more positive, which is why what you said about your SENCO is really surprising to me. It could also be we got very lucky with our daughter's support, I can't say. Ultimately it falls to you as the parent to make the decision though, you know your own child better than anyone and I'm sure your instincts will guide you.

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