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help please

jayneuk1988

Hi i am a parent to a 5 year old who has a diagnosis of ASD he is getting progresivly worse and im at my wits end now and in desperate need of help and advice. 

firstly my sons agression has been getting worse and meltdowns are getting worse he is physically violent to myself but never his father or anyone else. he is having meltdowns over anything now, weather its not getting his own way or that he doesnt like a certain shop, they are full blown screaming fits nothing will calm him it just agrivates him more also he is now thretening to leave home because we are just the worst parents ever its hard to handle all this.

also he has started sneaking food now at night times from our bedroom we have tried all sorts even down to hiding any sort of food but he finds it and eats it 

im asking for help from people on here because you are in the same boat and will understand what im going through because he doesnt act like this in school or at his grandparents no one else sees what he can be like so its tough to get them to understand what its like as they dont understand why im struggling 

thanks in advance for reading this and i look forwards to your replys 

  • With regard to the meltdowns, my son went through these before his diagnosis, it was understanding the diagnosis that helped calm him down. He would be violent and distraught sometimes for a couple of hours. All we learnt to do was step back a bit. Rather than engaging with him, we ensured he was safe but left him alone. However, he was then mentally only 10 months old, and is now closer to two (physically he is 7). We also now explain everything in advance and put routines in place for the momenta likely to cause a meltdown (arriving home from school). If you can identify any triggers, that might help?

    apologies if the typing isn't very good - my phone is not allowing me to see what i have written! 

  • My son is terrible for stealing food. To the point where he will eat dried pasta if he gets his hands on it.

    The only way I have found to stop him from stealing is to not buy any food I know he will steal. We have to put all the food in a box like a blanket box and disguise it as a chair so he doesnt realise that there is anything in it!

    I also lock the food away and have a small frisge for any food I know he will eat. I feel your pain as it is very difficult to police. Since we have taken a tough stance on not allowing DS to have anything he has lost weight which he needed and he is slowly , I think learning that eating is for mealtimes only.

  • my son is 12 with asd i have 3 younger kids too myeldest will even steal money to get food from shops it is any food too i now have a tin with a key round my he still takes food when ever he can though like you i dont get treats for cupboards but he doesnt mind what he eats even butter has been known. this lady is not alone as my boy is violent sometimes too i think maybe i should try the less noise etc might help him it is frustrating and i am having a hard time at the min wanting to get out and meet people i am feeling very low and tearfull but it must be harder for him . he is also great at school and i have been told this has no reflection on me it is the strict routine that enables him to cope he has also said many times he wants to live somewhere else but it is not meant.

  • Hi Jayne

    I don't have much advice as I was never good at dealing with meltdowns when my daughter was younger (she's only recently had her diagnosis though) but just wanted to say I've been there and I know how difficult it is.  My daughter had bit, kicked, thumped, pulled my hair, swore at me (though that started when she was a bit older) and more.  Looking back now, I'd probably have tried to ensure she had less demands and more peace and quiet as she's set off by noise/crowds/stress.  

    As for the food, this is something I've had an issue with in the last 6 months however I am able to hide treats in my room.  In the kitchen, I tried hiding things but she found them and when she couldn't find biscuits/chocolate crisps etc she resorted to eating cooking chocolate!  I've now stopped buying many treats and just buy on a day to day basis.  Could you hide things in the car or the shed?

    Good luck.