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Violent 16 year old.

ASDMUM

My son recently turned 16 and he's been having alot of issues at school recently. He attends a special needs school which he started at the age of 5.

He's had multiple behaviour incidents lately.

He shouts, says horrible words and threatens to k*ll people.

He throws things at people, hits people with things, destroys items etc. 

It has gotten worse the older he get. Myself and the school have tried everything. We have spoken to him, put things in place to help support him and to try predict and deflect his meltdowns. But he's just unpredictable at times. 

I'm juts feeling lost. I don't know what to do anymore. I think the school might suspend him from school soon. None of the other pupils or staff feel safe when he is around. 

  • Dear ASDMUM,

    Thank you for sharing your experience with the Online Community. We are sorry to hear that you are feeling lost. 

    Some autistic people can display behaviour that can have a negative impact on the person or their family. Our website has lots of links to pages with strategies to try and information on getting support: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: www.autism.org.uk/directory  

    You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice:  www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk.   

    I hope this is helpful. 

    Kind Regards,
    Rosie Mod

  • in reply to ASDMUM

    My advice is this.  Do not allow your son to develop a sense of increasing impunity regarding physical violence against others.  This is for HIS safety as much as it is for the safety of others around him.

    My advice applies equally to ALL people for the same reasons as stated, irrespective of mental health, autism etc.

    No matter how unpleasant, disruptive, damaging or difficult your "counter measures" need to be to impose an understanding on him that "physical violence" against others is neither OK nor safe.....they are preferable to the inevitable  outcome for both him and others if his dilusion is allowed to stand.

    There is ALWAYS someone stronger, more crazed and more dangerous than your son.  If he were ever to meet 'them' with his current beliefs, he may have his false beliefs terminated in a most absolute way.  Equally horrific would be an instance where your son terminates another through naivety.

    Do the really hard things NOW mum!  They are only really hard.....not impossible......but alternative scenarios ARE impossible to address.

    Assuring you of my best intentions  towards both you and your son......and with my best wishes.

    Number.

  • in reply to Number

    All of the above. 

  • Are you seeking advice....or support....or guidance....or all of the above?

  • I am sorry to hear of your difficulties.  The NAS has several pages of information which may be of some relevance & help to your situation.

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour

    Wishing you good luck going forward.