Today, both my daughters went to their Dad's leavers party. He has been part of the fire service since 2001, before the girls were even born. He is now leaving.
Before we moved house, 7 years ago, when they were 11 and 9, they saw their Dad weekly, had sleepovers, etc. Due to him being an on-call firefighter, no one knew when he would have to rush out the house, how long he'd be gone, or even if he would come back. They grew up with the unpredictability of his job since the day they were born and have known nothing different. All the times he would rush out during dinner, or when they were out, etc. It was something they just grew up with. There were times he was only gone an hour, or even 72 hours once. The unpredictability, the not knowing if he'd come home, etc. has been something they have dealt with daily.
When they were little, they always went to the fire station, sat in the fire engine, saw the other firefighters, and much more. But then, we moved 7 years ago, and they haven't seen any of the firefighters, been in the fire station or anything. But today, everyone was at the leavers party, the firefighter's children all grown up (they went to school with one of them), some with new children. It was like reuniting with their childhood all over again, but this time saying goodbye.
Apparently their Dad gave an emotional speech, which nearly made them cry. With him no longer being in the fire service, it's almost like starting a new life. One without unpredictability, not knowing if he'd ever come home again, and everything that came with the job. It's a huge change for all of them, he will be there all the time, they know he is safe, they know he will no longer be rushing out the door during dinner or whilst watching movies. It's like a new life, they are grieving their whole childhood, everything and everyone they have ever known.
They are so emotional, especially Chloe. They are glad he is safe, but all their life they've known the life of being part of a firefighter's family. All the calls he's been on, how far away he's been, being gone days at a time, reading about his jobs in the newspaper or on the news. They don't know any different.
How can I support them? To them, it's like starting a completely new life, especially not worrying that today may be the last day they ever see him. It's a very emotional time for them both, all of them.
