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How to help child who doesn't want it

Rosie1408

Hi, new to the forum!  I need advice please as to how to have my 14yo assessed - apparently I can't if HE doesn't want to.  

We have left him and left it but now at a point where it's got to be dine as school and home massively impacted.  He is what I have been advised hy those who are/know/work with ASD people, as high functioning.  Being in an insular environment with no family in the vicinity now and very tiny social circle so we werent aware that his behaviour were symptoms, we didn't know the signs until later, when he was nearly 13.

I tried to gently broach the subject but he is very angry and defensive and kicks off if ever anything is brought up.

It's a safety issue now -his and ours - is can believe that as a parent I have no power to get him assessed.

Thanks in advance for your help

  • As far as I know there’s nothing you can do to ‘make’ him engage with the assessment process - and if he won’t Co-operate it can’t be done. Ethically I think that’s the right thing too. When you say it’s ’a safety issue’ what do you mean? If he’s categorised as ‘at risk of of causing harm to himself or others’ then that would probably another matter in terms of mental health treatment guidelines. 
    Perhaps you could change your approach and that might help? Autistic people often panic when put under pressure to do anything. He might have any number of negative impressions about autism diagnosis, or he might find the whole thing very scary for multiple reasons. He might be angry - can you find ways to help him with the feelings he is currently experiencing without attempting to get a diagnosis at this point in time? 

    if he refuses to be assessed then I would leave that for a while and just focus on ways to help him with the currently problems he is facing in his life right now. While a diagnosis is certainly important there’s a lot you can do without one as well in terms of trying to help and support your son. Asking him what he feels he needs, and what would help him. Tell him that you respect his wishes regarding not attempting to get a diagnosis, but ask what you can do to help him right now with anything he is struggling with. Have that conversation and hopefully together you can come up with some strategies. Take the pressure off the situation and maybe in time he’ll come to accept the idea of being assessed for diagnosis. But for the time being it might be best to drop the subject because you can’t force him.

  • Children under the age of 16 can consent to their own treatment if they're believed to have enough intelligence, competence and understanding to fully appreciate what's involved in their treatment. This is known as being Gillick competent.

    If you've been advised by a medical practitioner that they require his consent then that is something you have to accept, unless he changes his mind.

    You've not explained who has advised this, but the other thing to consider is that the process & wait times for an NHS autism assessment are very long.  He could well be 16+ before being assessed, to be blunt. 

    I appreciate your comments on reasons why, but it is for him to make that decision if he is competent to do so.  If you've not yet spoken with your/his GP, then I'd suggest you clarify with them.