New Hair Dresser

Our hair dresser, has had to leave due to being pregnant. We now have a new hairdresser, both of whom come to the home, but there is a lot of anxiety. This is understandable. 

Our new hairdresser, has known us since the children were little because we used to take them to the hair salon, but although she wasn't our hairdresser she was always there. It's been 7 years since this but I decided to reach out to her for her to be our hairdresser, due to familiarity. Obviously, they were little so don't remember her but my eldest briefly does. 

My daughter is in need of a haircut, it's been almost a year because she just refuses, but I don't force her. Her hair grows really quickly too and it annoys her at times. 

Today was the first day the new hairdresser came. She came downstairs for around 10 minutes to just observe her. She did answer a few questions but was very blunt and one-worded answers. She didn't have her haircut done, which I expected, but I was wondering if anyone has any tips on how to make this easier for her. 

We sit in the living room, so the TV is on for distraction, and we try to keep people in the room limited, for less sensory input. The anxiety is high, and it shows, but today was just a huge achievement because we did not even expect her to come downstairs, let alone answer a few questions. Does anyone know how to make this easier? She knows in advance when the haircuts are, she loves getting her hair done so it's just the case of having a new hairdresser, especially because our other one was definitely a favourite. But also their personalities are different, which I think is also a struggle for her. The first hair dresser had a calming tone of voice, was slow with her movements, but our new one is more outgoing. I expect this to take a lot of time, we don't rush or force haircuts either. 

Thanks in advance. I also apologise if this doesn't make sense, I've had 2 weeks of very little sleep because my two eldest daughter's sleep schedules are currently non-existent. 

  • My worst fears with haircuts were thinking that the person doing it was going to prattle on incessantly - and I might be expected to answer their inane small talk. 

    Previous experience & seeing them with others had led me to this, obviously.  

    To this day, I'd much rather have a haircut in silence than be forced to talk about what the hairdresser *thinks* I might want to speak about.  

    Have you tried asking if she'd like the conversation turned on or off ?    (Especially seeing she doesn't know the person)

  • I used to do lots of children and always treated them the same or with a slightly exagerated sameness as my adult clients. I would talk to them about what they wanted rather than to Mum, so as it felt like it was something they had some control and input into rather than it being something that just happens to them. I'd let them look through my magazines and discuss cuts and styles with them, not being afraid to explain why they couldn't have something, because their hair wouldn't do it and point out pictures with styles I'd love but couldn't have. Even very little ones respond well to this approach

  • Have you tried a social story? Maybe it would help her to prepare. Possibly let her choose something she can do to take her mind off it, watch a video, play on tablet, have snacks. If she has something to choose she may feel a bit more in control. It is really difficult though. Hair cuts are autistic hell.